I am writing about the connection I had with someone I met while on a fresh air/smoke break in Washington DC. I would later learn his name was David. It turns out David came from Albany, NY on a different train than the one I took from Rome, NY. I boarded my train at 7:45 AM with Albany being a stop around the 10 AM hour. He got on his train at around 7:00 AM after driving well over an hour to the train station. Interestingly, the Rome train station was closer to him in Cooperstown, but his ride preferred the roads to Albany. He arrived at Penn Station in NYC with a five hour layover. I only had a two hour layover. I could only imagine how it would have been if we had met twelve hours earlier. I arrived at the Rome station on time thanks to my Uber driver Timothy. I learned Timothy served in the Army during the 1980s. The unmanned station was empty, but thankfully it was daylight because the inside was dark with plywood and metal bars created corridors. There were few signs, but somehow I found the tracks by way of the elevator. I took a video of my train arriving, and it appeared the engineer did two short blasts on the horn when I waved at him. I don't know if it is true, but that is the story I am going with if anyone asks. I was really just happy I made it to the station without delay. My trip from Rome to New York City went pretty fast. I met Jason on the train—he was on his way to a friend’s wedding. He seemed nervous and uncertain about what to expect. I overheard him chatting with his sister and his seatmate. Like many, his family dynamic sounded dysfunctional. I gave him one of my cards because he sounded like he could use a friend. He already found my Twitch channel and followed. He got off the train in Poughkeepsie, NY. My seatmate, if I remember her name was Lynette, was quiet during the trip, but talked pleasantly when we were nearing New York City. She definitely helped me so I wouldn't feel so lost when we arrived at Penn Station - Moynihan Hall. Moynihan Hall at Penn station was beautiful, bright, and clean. After checking my suitcase, I decided to step outside. To my surprise, Madison Square Garden was directly across the street! I feel this really opens up so many possibilities for future entertainment and travel! I saw a Nathan's hotdog vendor and decided to buy some lunch and something for later on the train.. A New York hotdog, chicken tenders and fries. I sat on the Farley Post Office stairs to eat and soak up the sights and sounds of New York City. Time passed quickly and I was ready at the escalator when Track 13 was assigned. I followed the crowd and was directed to the far end of the Silver Meteor number 97 train to Florida. Compared to other train attendants, Christopher was really intense. "Families and people traveling together board first," he would chant here in New York and at each stop. "Hurry up or you won't be able to sit together," he would snap at people just arriving to the open train car. When it was my turn to board, I headed towards the back of the car. David and I were in the same coach car, but he was sitting a few rows behind me on the other side of the aisle. Christopher made several passes through our car after leaving New York. It was like he was trying to memorize where each person sat and their destination station. I wouldn't know of David's existence until we stopped for a crew change in Washington DC. "We have about an hour folks," Christopher informed us as we got off the train. I noticed David walking back and forth near the train car, waiting for the 'all aboard' from the conductor. I was doing the same. It was a long break and quite a few people came off the train just to smoke, stretch, or get something quick to eat. It was probably twenty minutes into the break when I asked David how he was doing and where he was going. He told me he was getting off the train at the Jacksonville station, but was headed to Panama City Beach, which was an additional 5 hour drive. We had only talked for a few minutes on the platform, but the connection was undeniable. I was really enjoying our conversation and the laughter! Suddenly, Christopher put the steps up on the train car and closed the door much to everyone's surprise! Christopher pointed to the opened door on the other coach car. Everyone started boarding thinking it was time to go. Once onboard, I heard someone mention we still had more than thirty minutes to wait. I went over to where David was sitting, and asked if he minded if I sat with him when it was time to leave. He agreed and we both went off the train again. I would learn that on a previous trip, David went to the vending machine in Florence SC, and the train pulled away without him! Not only did it delay his trip by a day, but the train station closed forcing him to walk around a strange town at night! He had to buy another ticket to get back to New York! We found Christopher, and I asked if I could switch seats. I would give up my window seat to sit with David. Christopher took his trusty pencil eraser and swapped my seat over. The stop lasted longer than expected due to a mechanical issue with one of the cars. David and I had a connection, and although I tried really hard not to give him my life history—it happened over time. After an additional 30 minute delay, the train was moving down the tracks once again. I was now sitting with David, and our conversation was fun. He was several years younger than me, but I look and act several years younger than my age. Before too long, he was reading my post, " Who She Is: A Dating Profile " at my suggestion. I am not able to repeat what he said after he read it, but it made me smile. We cuddled, chatted, and tried to sleep, but things got a bit heated, at times. I resisted as much as I could, but in my defense, he was irresistible. I think God would still approve of my behavior. When we arrived in Jacksonville, his ride was there waiting. With a quick hug goodbye, he said he would reach out through my blog. My stop was just over two hours away. During this time, I had a new seatmate. Her name was Farrah, a retired Dade County deputy who served her county for 32 years. She had been visiting her daughter and was headed home to South Florida. She also has a son, but he is in Maryland. She talked about having a close circle of friends and her church where she lived. I have looked into some churches in my area, but none have felt right for me, yet. Across the aisle was a lovely lady named Barbara Ann who lives not far from my Uncle and cousin in South Florida. She doesn't text or get on the computer, but I gave her my card because it has my home number on it. We talked a bit on the platform at the Jacksonville station, and Barbara was looking forward to a new seatmate, as her previous seatmate didn't say a word to her until she was at her station! Barbara was sitting with Skylar. I overheard Skylar talking about girls who are clearly neurodivergent not being diagnosed with Autism, but just called quirky. I interrupted their conversation and gave him my blog card. Skylar said he had Autism, and I think he could really contribute to this blog. When the train arrived in DeLand, I called for an Uber, and met Gladys. She is in school and is pursuing a degree in addiction counseling. In addition to Uber, she has her own transportation service. We exchanged numbers, and I gave her a blog card and a hug when we arrived at my house. I hope they will all visit my blog, and maybe even write a post or two. I am realizing that many people text, but the number on my card is not a mobile number, so text will not go through! I don't know if David will actually call, but I will look forward to it. If he doesn't call, I will still have the memory of a wonderful ending to an amazing train trip. This truly was the trip of a lifetime. Psalm 37:23-24 "The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand."

To obtain Italian dual citizenship by descent through a grandparent ( jure sanguinis , "by right of blood"), you’ll need to go through a legal recognition process. Italy allows this for many people of Italian descent, but it depends on specific rules. Here's a straightforward breakdown of the steps: Step 1: Determine Your Eligibility You may qualify if: Your Italian grandparent was an Italian citizen at the time of your parent’s birth . Neither your grandparent nor your parent ever renounced their Italian citizenship before  passing it to the next generation. If you’re applying through a maternal line, your mother must have given birth to you after January 1, 1948 (due to an old law that prevented women from passing citizenship before that date). If your grandparent became a U.S. citizen (or citizen of another country) before your parent was born, you may not qualify. Step 2: Gather Required Documents You’ll need official records to prove the Italian bloodline: Your grandparent’s documents: Italian birth certificate ( estratto dell’atto di nascita ) Marriage certificate Naturalization record (or proof they never became a citizen elsewhere) Your parent’s documents: Birth certificate (long form) Marriage certificate Death certificate (if applicable) Your documents: Birth certificate Marriage certificate (if applicable) Photo ID, proof of residency All non-Italian documents must be: Apostilled (official certification for international use) Translated into Italian by a certified translator In some cases, certified copies must be provided Step 3: Get Proof of Non-Naturalization If your grandparent emigrated from Italy, you must show whether they became a citizen of another country and when . For the U.S., this includes: Certificate of Naturalization (if they became a U.S. citizen) No record of naturalization (if they never became a U.S. citizen) from USCIS or the National Archives This step is critical—the timing of naturalization affects eligibility. Step 4: Book an Appointment with Your Italian Consulate Find the Italian consulate that serves your U.S. state or country of residence. Then: Visit their official website Follow the instructions to book a citizenship appointment Some consulates have long waitlists (months or years), so book early! Step 5: Attend Your Appointment Bring all your documents, well-organized and complete. At the appointment: The consulate will review your paperwork If anything is missing or incorrect, they will ask for corrections or additional documents If approved, they’ll forward your application to the Comune (town hall) in Italy Step 6: Wait for Recognition Once the Comune processes your application, you will be recognized as an Italian citizen. You’ll be added to the AIRE registry (registry of Italians abroad) After that, you can apply for your Italian passport Optional (But Common) Legal Route: 1948 Case If you are ineligible due to the maternal line pre-1948, you can still apply through the Italian court system. This requires hiring an Italian lawyer and filing a lawsuit in Rome, but many have succeeded this way. What Is the 1948 Rule? Italian law before 1948 did not allow women to pass on citizenship to their children. So if your Italian citizenship claim goes through a woman (your mother or grandmother) and: She gave birth before January 1, 1948, Then you are not eligible for citizenship recognition through the consulate. This is due to Italy's 1948 Constitution, which updated citizenship rights to be more equal—but the change was not applied retroactively through normal consular processes. Who Does This Affect? You may fall into this category if: Your grandmother was born in Italy, She had your parent (her child)  before  Jan 1, 1948, And your parent then had you. Even if all other conditions are met (e.g., no one renounced citizenship), you would be denied by the consulate because of that pre-1948 maternal link. How Do People Still Get Citizenship in These Cases? Italian courts have consistently ruled that this gender-based restriction is unconstitutional. So if you qualify except  for the 1948 maternal issue, you can file a court case in Italy to get citizenship recognized. This is called a "1948 case", and it's a legal workaround that has become common. How It Works: Hire an Italian attorney who specializes in citizenship cases. The lawyer will file a petition in Rome’s civil court asking the judge to recognize that your citizenship should be granted, even though it comes from a pre-1948 woman. You do not have to go to Italy—your lawyer can represent you. If the court agrees (and it usually does), you are legally recognized as an Italian citizen. After that, you can apply for an Italian passport like anyone else. How Long and How Much? Time: Usually 1 to 2 years from start to finish. Cost: Typically €3,000–€7,000+, depending on the attorney and number of applicants (you can often file as a family group). Summary: If your maternal ancestor gave birth before 1948, you are likely ineligible through the consulate. But you can still win citizenship through a court case in Rome. These cases are now routine, and many people successfully obtain citizenship this way.

When people hear the word 'Resilience', they tend to think of something rigid and unbreakable. When it comes to Mental Resilience, I strongly believe the opposite to be true. Mental Resilience is layered. It's a foundation of bricks that is slowly laid out one by one until eventually you've made a home you feel comfortable in. There's no such thing as instant resilience, only resilience slowly built out of the many things you experience through out life. There is slower and faster ways to build that resilience though. I believe the trick is to be open to the various opportunities and experiences that life offers you. So many people fear new things and change, the unknown. But I am here to tell you that there is only good things in life. It can be hard to understand why setbacks and drama can be good things when they're happening to you, but when you look back in hindsight you will see that you've grown because of those things. Just as metal is beaten into shape, you too are made more resilient by the challenges life presents you. I tell you that if you pray for challenges, you will find them. And with those challenges, you will experience growth unlike any you've seen. You will become like a tall tree that is unyielding even in the fiercest winds. And you will become a place of safety and stability for those who might shelter under the shade of your tree. I ask that you might be an example to those around you. That you show others how to grow and to those that seek it, guide them towards challenges they might face. For all things are good things. And when things become truly difficult, and you feel yourself failing, please ask for help. Pray that someone might be sent to help you. If you feel you need it, do not be ashamed to ask for help. But understand that you will never be given challenges that you can not overcome. And the bigger the challenge, the more opportunity there is to grow. Be proud of your struggling, revel in your setbacks, and praise the opportunity. If you can do this, you will be strong. Strength for others and resilience for yourself.    If you enjoyed this insight from Lis, you can catch them streaming on Twitch! Check out their channel LifeisSacred   for more engaging content.

I never really thought much about adding narration to my blog posts until a friend told me he was not much of a reader. It made me realize that reading is not easy or enjoyable for everyone. Some people struggle with focus. Others might deal with dyslexia, low literacy, limited education, or just not enough time in their day. For me, it has always been the lack of comprehension. I read words well, but understanding and retaining what I have read has been a lifelong challenge. It really had me thinking seriously about accessibility. That is why I decided to add narration to each of my blog posts. Unfortunately, I am not able to add audio on some of the main pages. I signed up for a plan that allows up to 50 narrations per month, with each one covering up to 5,000 words. Posts that are longer will use more than one slot. If I have to regenerate the audio for any reason, it uses additional slots. I have about 250 completed posts already, and I add between 5 and 20 new ones each month. With only 50 uses per month, it will take over six months before every post includes audio. One thing I like about BeyondWords is the variety of voices available. This is especially helpful for my language posts, since I cover languages from all around the world. I can choose region based voices that add a small touch to the content. I am genuinely excited to bring this feature into my blog. Here is a general review of BeyondWords from Aeris. Overview BeyondWords is a text-to-speech platform that allows users to convert written content into audio using AI-generated voices. It is designed for publishers, bloggers, marketers, educators, and anyone who wants to offer audio versions of their content without recording their own voice. The platform offers a web-based interface, a plugin for WordPress, and an API for developers. User Interface and Setup The interface is clean and simple. You can either paste your text directly or upload it from an integrated platform like Wix, WordPress, or Blogger. Setup takes only a few minutes. Once your account is created, it is easy to add and manage projects. The layout does not feel overwhelming, and most of the features are where you would expect them. Voice Quality and Options BeyondWords offers a wide selection of synthetic voices. These are categorized by language, region, and gender. Some voices are more natural than others. Certain voices have expressive features like pauses, pitch changes, and emphasis. These allow for more control over tone and pacing. Voice quality varies depending on the voice chosen. Some voices sound robotic. Others are much closer to human narration. The most realistic voices are labeled "premium." These are only available on paid plans. It is worth testing several options before committing to one. Customization and Control You can adjust pitch, speed, emphasis, and add pauses. These are controlled through tags placed in the text. This gives the user flexibility, but the tagging system can feel technical. If you are unfamiliar with markup-style inputs, this may slow down your workflow at first. You can assign different voices to different parts of the same article, which is useful for interviews or fictional dialogue. Integration and Embedding The WordPress plugin works reliably. Once installed, it adds a player to each post. Or you can embed a code into the blog post. Readers can click and listen instantly. The player is minimal and does not clutter the layout. Audio files are hosted by BeyondWords, so they do not slow down your site. The platform also provides an API for developers, which allows more technical users to integrate audio dynamically. This is helpful for large-scale publishers or apps. Analytics and Monetization You can track how many people play the audio, how long they listen, and where they drop off. This is useful for evaluating engagement. You can also add pre-roll or mid-roll audio ads, though this feature is aimed more at enterprise users. For small publishers, monetization options are limited. Accessibility and Listening Experience The audio player is accessible. It works across devices, including mobile and screen readers. You can customize how it looks to match your website. The listening experience is smooth. Playback is fast. There is little buffering. You can adjust volume, speed, and skip ahead or rewind. Pricing BeyondWords offers a free tier with limited features and voice choices. Paid plans are based on character count and access to premium voices. The pricing model is fair, but it can get expensive if you publish frequently or use long texts. For occasional use or smaller blogs, the free plan may be enough, but it is only 5 narrations per month. For professional use, especially with branding needs or high-volume publishing, the premium plans are necessary. Strengths High-quality AI voices Wide selection of languages and accents Smooth integration with WordPress Useful analytics dashboard Good accessibility across devices Limitations Premium voices locked behind paid plans Some voices still sound synthetic Tag-based editing has a learning curve Monetization is limited for small users Final Thoughts BeyondWords is a strong platform for anyone looking to turn written content into professional-sounding audio. It works well for blogs, articles, and educational content. While the free version is very limited, the core functionality is reliable. The free version also gives you the opportunity to try before you buy. The ability to add natural pacing and change voices adds depth that many competitors do not offer. It is not perfect. But it is one of the more mature and polished text-to-speech solutions available today. Conclusion I am glad to offer this audio option for people who prefer to listen. I hope that for some people, listening will be easier than reading, and that this small change will help them connect with what I write in a way that works better for them. I hope it makes my blog more accessible to everyone. Proverbs 31:8 "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute."

Introduction Many adults continue to seek external validation long after childhood because praise and approval from others can feel reassuring. They wait for compliments, likes, or praise to feel that their effort matters. Approval and validation from others gives a sense of security, belonging, and accomplishment. However, true peace comes from learning to validate yourself and finding reward in simply doing the task. The Problem With External Validation When you rely on others for validation, you put your sense of worth in their hands. If they approve, you feel good. If they stay silent, you start to doubt yourself. This creates an unstable emotional cycle. People may not always notice your work, even when you give your best. Some people may even criticize for reasons that have nothing to do with you. When your confidence depends on their reactions, you remain vulnerable. If you rely too much on others for validation, your sense of worth becomes fragile. You constantly need someone else to reassure you, which is often disappointing. Self-Validation Self-validation means being able to say you did your best even if no one else says it. You recognize your own progress, your own effort, and your own growth. You trust your ability to evaluate your work honestly. You stop chasing constant reassurance because you have already given it to yourself. This creates stability because you are not waiting for someone else to hand you approval. Self-validation builds confidence and independence. The Power of Intrinsic Rewards Intrinsic rewards are the satisfaction you feel from the work itself. Maybe you learned a new skill, finished a difficult task, or simply enjoyed the process. These rewards are not dependent on others. They build real confidence because you know why the work matters to you. You do not need applause to feel accomplished. For example, I might write a blog post and feel good simply because I know I expressed my thoughts clearly. I do not need hundreds of likes to know I did something worthwhile. The benefit of intrinsic rewards is that they build resilience. You can stay motivated even when others do not notice. You continue to grow because you care about the process, not just the outcome. This also reduces the emotional rollercoaster of depending on outside opinions, which often change or are unreliable. Shifting Your Focus When you practice self-validation and value intrinsic rewards, several things happen: You feel more stable emotionally. You stay motivated longer. You grow from your own goals, not from chasing approval. You become less affected by criticism or silence from others. Final Thoughts You cannot control how much others notice or praise your efforts. You can control how you see yourself. Validation from others is temporary. Validation from within is lasting. The reward is in the doing, not in the applause. Galatians 6:4 "Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else."

If you’d like to help by sharing this link with your friends, family, or on social media, here are some sample messages you can use to help spread the word. Change or remove "my friend" to whatever fits your relationship best! Below are some examples! Please help my friend Linda, who is going through an incredibly tough time. Every donation or share makes a difference! http://savedthoughts.com My friend Linda is facing overwhelming challenges, and she needs our support. Let’s rally around her and make a difference together. http://savedthoughts.com My friend Linda’s been through so much, and right now she needs all the help she can get. If you can donate or share her story, it would mean the world! http://savedthoughts.com My friend Linda is such a strong person, but she needs help right now. Even if you can't donate, please consider sharing her story! http://savedthoughts.com Sometimes the best way to help is by sharing. my friend Linda could really use your support, whether through a donation or simply spreading the word! http://savedthoughts.com My friend Linda has been through more than anyone should have to, and she needs help to get back on her feet. Every little bit counts! http://savedthoughts.com I’m sharing my friend Linda’s story because she’s in need of some serious help. If you can donate or share, it could really lift a burden. http://savedthoughts.com Supporting my friend Linda right now could make a huge difference in her life. Please donate if you can, or simply share this link to help spread the word! http://savedthoughts.com Hebrews 13:16 "And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased."

c onsidering where thoughts belong a ttempting to make sense of ideas t hinking through connections and meaning e very post holds a piece of life g athering moments into sections o verlapping themes blur the lines r ealizing decisions are not always final i nsight grows as words are shared e very story finds its place s haring thoughts invites reflection There are ten different categories on this blog, and sometimes deciding where a post belongs can be tricky. I have been trying to make quicker decisions to avoid overthinking, but it can still feel a bit overwhelming. Some posts fit more than one category, so I mark them for each. If all else fails, I add it to the one-offs category! Pinned Posts – Highlighted for importance or quick reference. Self Reflection – Insights and thoughts on personal experiences. Spiritual Insight - Wisdom and inspiration from faith-based reflections. Mental Clarity – Posts that focus on mental health and mental illness. Polyglot Path – Information, stories and tips for language learners. Life Unscripted – Real stories and experiences from everyday moments. Personal Growth – Perspectives on self-improvement and change. Creative Expression – Creative writing with heart and depth. One Offs – Unique posts without a recurring theme. Food for Thought – Thoughts, stories, and recipes about food. This post is a clear sign I have been overthinking the issue with categories. some posts are marked for quick reference, meant to be seen first others are reflections, delving deep into personal experiences wisdom surfaces in moments of faith, offering insight and direction thoughts may be tangled, seeking clarity from the noise language grows as stories unfold, each word learning from another real life happens in the quiet moments, shared without a script change is constant, as we strive to grow and transform creativity speaks from the heart, unguarded and raw there are posts that stand alone, unique in their own right even food carries meaning, bringing stories and comfort to the table each category is a lens, but no single one defines us sometimes they overlap, at other times they stay separate still, they all hold value, offering pieces of a larger story If you ever feel that a post is clearly in the wrong category, feel free to leave a comment or use the Get in Touch page. Your feedback is always welcome! Thank You!

In a world where mental health struggles often go unheard, it is crucial to break the silence surrounding suicide and offer support to those in need. To address this pressing issue, we have curated a comprehensive suicide prevention resource page aimed at providing assistance and guidance to individuals facing mental health challenges. Understanding Suicide Prevention Suicide is a complex and sensitive topic that requires open conversations and proactive measures to prevent tragic outcomes. By shedding light on the importance of mental health awareness and creating a supportive environment, we can make a positive impact in saving lives. Let's explore some key resources and strategies for suicide prevention: 1. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a valuable resource that provides free and confidential support to individuals in crisis. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255), you can connect with trained counselors who can offer immediate assistance and guidance. 2. Crisis Text Line For those who prefer texting over calling, the Crisis Text Line offers 24/7 crisis support through a simple text message. By texting "HELLO" to 741741, you can chat with a trained crisis counselor who can offer support and resources. 3. International Hotlines International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP)     - Website: [ iasp.info ]   - Directory of crisis centers worldwide. Befrienders Worldwide - Website: [ befrienders.org ] - Global network of emotional support helplines. Samaritans - Website: [ samaritans.org ] - 24/7 support available in the UK and Ireland. Lifeline - Website: [ lifeline.org.au ] - Crisis support in Australia. Crisis Text Line International Affiliates - Website: [ crisistextline.org ] - Free 24/7 support via text in multiple countries. Suicide.org - Website: [ suicide.org ] - International suicide hotlines by country. The Trevor Project - Website: [ thetrevorproject.org ] - Crisis intervention for LGBTQ+ youth in the US. HopeLine (UK) - Website: [ papyrus-uk.org ] - Support for young people at risk of suicide.. Mental Health Europe - Website: [ mhe-sme.org ] - Network of mental health organizations in Europe. --------------------------------------------------------------- Specific Country Resources --------------------------------------------------------------- - Canada Talk Suicide Canada: 1-833-456-4566 - New Zealand : Lifeline NZ: 0800 543 354 - Australia : Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 - United Kingdom : National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 0800 689 5652 - India : Vandrevala Foundation Helpline: 1860 266 2345 --------------------------------------------------------------- 4. Online Therapy Platforms In an increasingly digital world, online therapy platforms have become a convenient and accessible option for seeking mental health support. Services like BetterHelp and Talkspace offer online therapy sessions with licensed professionals, allowing individuals to receive help from the comfort of their own homes. A Call to Action It's essential to remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please reach out for support. Together, we can break the stigma surrounding mental health and create a community that prioritizes well-being and support for all. Remember, you are not alone, and help is always available. Your story matters, and your life is valuable. Let's join hands in breaking the silence and advocating for mental health awareness and suicide prevention. If you ever feel overwhelmed or in crisis, please reach out to one of the resources mentioned above or seek help from a trusted individual. Your well-being matters, and there is hope for a brighter tomorrow. Let's break the silence together. The importance of mental health awareness cannot be overstated, and by providing access to vital resources and support systems, we can make a significant difference in combating the stigma surrounding suicide. Remember, reaching out for help is a courageous step towards healing and recovery. Let's continue to prioritize mental health and well-being for ourselves and those around us.

The concept of "love languages" was coined by Dr. Gary Chapman, a Baptist preacher. marriage counselor and author. He introduced the idea in his 1992 book, "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts". Chapman proposed that people experience and express love in five distinct ways: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Each love language actually has two sides: how someone prefers to receive love and how they naturally show love. These are not always the same for a person. Sometimes conflict happens when two people are giving love in their own preferred language, but not in a way the other person receives it best. That is where the idea of “learning someone’s love language” becomes really useful. Words of Affirmation This love language centers around the power of verbal expression. People who value words of affirmation often feel most loved when they hear thoughtful, encouraging, or appreciative words. It is not just about saying "I love you"—it includes compliments, expressing gratitude, and acknowledging someone's efforts or character. Even a simple "I am proud of you" or "You did great" can deeply resonate. For them, language has emotional weight, and silence or harsh words can be especially hurtful. Receive : You feel uplifted when someone says kind or encouraging things. Compliments, thoughtful texts, or being told “I am proud of you” go a long way. You may replay encouraging things people have said to you in your head. Give : You often write notes, give compliments, or express appreciation out loud. You tend to encourage people verbally when they are going through something. You say “I love you” or “you have got this” more than most. Acts of Service For people who connect through acts of service, actions truly speak louder than words. They feel loved when others take the time to help them, ease their burdens, or anticipate their needs. Whether it is making a meal, running errands, or helping with a task without being asked, these gestures are seen as expressions of love and thoughtfulness. What matters most is the effort behind the act, showing that someone is paying attention and wants to support them. Receive : You feel loved when someone helps you without being asked. It means a lot if someone brings you food, fixes something, or does errands for you. You might feel disappointed if people do not pitch in or follow through. Give : You show love by doing things: fixing, cooking, cleaning, running errands. You often say “let me do that for you” instead of offering comfort with words. You feel good when your help makes someone’s life easier. Receiving/Giving Gifts This love language is not about materialism or expensive items—it is about the thought and meaning behind a gift. A person who feels loved through gift-giving appreciates tangible symbols of affection, whether it is a small souvenir, a handwritten card, or something carefully chosen. To them, a well-timed gift shows attentiveness, consideration, and emotional presence. It is the message the gift conveys—"I thought of you"—that holds the most value. Receive : You feel cared for when someone brings you a thoughtful item, even if it is small. You remember who gave you what and often associate objects with people. Surprise gifts feel meaningful, not because of cost, but the thought behind them. Give : You buy or make things that remind you of someone and give it to them. You enjoy giving gifts “just because,” not only on holidays or birthdays. You feel frustrated if your gifts are dismissed or not appreciated. Quality Time Undivided attention and shared experiences are at the heart of this love language. People who value quality time feel closest when someone sets aside distractions and focuses fully on being present with them. It might be through deep conversations, going for a walk, watching a movie together, or simply sitting in the same room and connecting. What matters is the intentionality—knowing that someone wants to be with them, not just near them. Receive : You feel loved when someone makes time just for you. Deep conversations or quiet company matter more than background chatter. Being distracted (e.g., checking their phone) makes you feel unimportant. Give : You carve out time to be with people you care about. You try to give your full attention when someone talks. You may invite others to hang out even if there's no specific reason. Physical Touch This love language communicates emotional warmth through physical closeness. For those who respond to physical touch, a hug, a pat on the back, or holding hands can mean more than words ever could. Physical contact offers comfort, reassurance, and a sense of safety. It is often how they express care as well, through casual or affectionate touches. Without it, they may feel disconnected even if other forms of love are present. Receive : You feel connected by physical closeness like hugs, hand-holding, or sitting nearby. Physical affection calms or reassures you more than words. A lack of touch might make you feel distant, even if someone says nice things. Give : You often initiate hugs, pats on the back, or just being physically close. You show support with a hand squeeze, or comfort with a gentle touch. You might feel awkward expressing love verbally but show it through contact. Your Preferences The idea is that people give and receive love in different ways, and understanding someone's preferred "language" can improve relationships—romantic, family, or even friendships. When someone values different expressions of care, it creates room for mutual understanding, even when others show love in varied ways. Rather than focusing on one style, some people feel most at peace when affection is expressed through a blend of time, touch, helpfulness, encouragement, and shared moments. Each way of connecting carries meaning—and being open to them all can deepen relationships in a more balanced and personal way. There is no official test, but here is a short set of self-reflective questions to help figure out how you prefer to give love versus how you feel most loved (receive). People often assume they are the same—but they are not always. Many people relate to more than one, but usually one stands out more than the others. Answer these questions with the option that resonates most. How Do You Feel Most Loved? (Receiving) When you are feeling down, what makes you feel better? A: Someone saying something kind or encouraging B: Someone helping with something without being asked C: Someone surprising you with a small thoughtful gift D: Someone sitting and talking with you for a while E: A warm hug or hand on your shoulder On your birthday, what would mean the most to you? A: A heartfelt card or message B: Someone doing something special for you C: Receiving a meaningful gift D: Spending uninterrupted time with someone you care about E: Being physically close to those you care about If someone wanted to show you they love you without saying it, what would make you feel it most? A: Compliments or sweet messages B: Doing chores or errands for you C: Thoughtful gifts (big or small) D: Giving you their full attention E: Physical closeness or affection How Do You Tend to Show Love? (Giving) How do you usually comfort a friend or loved one? A: Say something encouraging or reassuring B: Offer to help with something practical C: Give them something thoughtful D: Spend time with them E: Offer a hug or gentle touch When you want to make someone feel appreciated, what do you do? A: Tell them what you admire or like about them B: Do something for them to make their day easier C: Give them something that made you think of them D: Invite them to hang out or chat E: Sit close, pat their back, or show some kind of touch You can tally which letters show up the most in each part. A = Words of Affirmation B = Acts of Service C = Receiving/Giving Gifts D = Quality Time E = Physical Touch Conclusion Understanding love languages can help you improve relationships of all kinds—romantic, family, friendship, and even professional. Everyone expresses and receives love in different ways, and recognizing those patterns helps reduce misunderstandings. When someone gives love in a way that does not match how you best receive it, you might feel disconnected even though their intentions were good. Likewise, your efforts might go unnoticed if the other person speaks a different emotional “language.” By becoming aware of both your giving and receiving styles, you can strengthen your ability to connect with others in more meaningful ways. It is also important to remember that love languages are not fixed categories. People often express a mix of them, and those preferences can shift over time or depending on life circumstances. What matters most is the willingness to pay attention, communicate clearly, and care enough to meet each other where they are. When you make the effort to show love in a way that truly lands for someone, it creates trust, comfort, and a deeper sense of being valued. And when you advocate for how you feel most supported, you create space for healthier emotional exchanges. 1 John 4:7 " Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God."

In the cradle of life, where fate has its start, A soul finds its path, written deep in the heart.. Through the joys and the trials, in the echoes of play, Each step marked a story, each moment, each day. A heart full of wonder, a mind ever keen, Navigating a world both vivid and serene. From childhood’s embrace to adolescence’s call, You danced through the phases, through rise and fall. With the weight of the world, and dreams taking flight, In the canvas of life, you painted your light. Through classrooms and corridors, wisdom was sought, In books and in knowledge, your battles were fought. In the realm of working, where hours stretched long, A voice in the chorus, singing your own song. Yet, within the turmoil, a tempest unseen, A journey through struggles, a fierce routine. From a love that was tender, to a heart that was tried, In the midst of the storm, you stood undenied. The bonds of affection, though frayed and torn, Still carried a hope, like a rose freshly born. With the ebb and the flow of a life lived in stride, You faced each challenge with courage and pride. Through losses and heartaches, the echoes of grief, You found strength in your sorrow, a moment of relief. Now standing in time’s light, with stories to share, A life rich in depth, in wisdom and care. Though the path has been rugged, with hurdles and bends, It’s a journey of growth, where hope never ends. So here’s to the future, with its promise and grace, To a life that’s been lived with courage to face. In  the chapters unwritten, in the dreams yet to weave, May you find peace and joy in all you believe.                                                                  —A tribute by ChatGPT

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I have struggled with suicidal thoughts since I was a teenager. I have attempted suicide five times. I share this because I am not ashamed—they are facts of my life. I hold a Bachelor of Science degree in Sociology, and Émile Durkheim’s work on suicide has always resonated with me. He did not treat suicide as just a mental illness or personal weakness. He examined it as a social issue—something that can be explained by how connected or disconnected someone is from their community. A few years ago, I changed my Twitch name to disconnexion—after feeling suicidal and extremely disconnected from the world. People often claim that suicide is selfish. I believe it is equally selfish to demand that someone continue living a life they no longer want. The tension between societal expectations and private suffering, is central to understanding suicide not just psychologically, but sociologically. Suicide is important to discuss and this article is meant to be informative and educational, not persuasive. “Each society is predisposed to generate a certain quantity of voluntary deaths.” Émile Durkheim was a pioneering sociologist who studied suicide extensively. His 1897 work "Le Suicide"   is one of the earliest sociological texts. Durkheim's work emphasizes the crucial role of social connections and belongingness in protecting individuals from suicidal tendencies. Durkheim's Theory of Suicide:  Social Integration and Suicide: Durkheim argued that suicide is not solely a result of individual psychological problems, but also influenced by social factors. He theorized that the degree to which an individual is integrated into a social group or society affects their likelihood of committing suicide. Types of Suicide: Based on the level of social integration and social regulation, Durkheim categorized suicide into four types. Egoistic suicide: Results from a lack of social integration, leading to feelings of isolation and meaninglessness. Altruistic suicide: Occurs when an individual is too integrated into a group and may sacrifice their life for the group's benefit. Anomic suicide: Arises from a state of normlessness or social disintegration, where individuals feel disconnected from societal norms and values. Fatalistic suicide: Happens when a person is excessively regulated and oppressed by societal rules.  Egoistic Suicide “The more strongly someone is integrated into a group, the less likely he is to commit suicide.” Durkheim's concept of egoistic suicide suggests low social integration is linked to an increased risk of suicide. This can be seen in individuals who feel isolated, misunderstood, or cut off from meaningful social ties. These are often people who lack strong family bonds, community involvement, or shared purpose with others. You might hear descriptions like “he was a loner,” or “she never really connected with anyone.” An example could be a man who lives alone, has no close relationships, and feels like he does not belong anywhere. He may go through life unnoticed, and over time, that deep sense of disconnection leads to hopelessness. Egoistic suicide is often more common in societies or environments where individualism is strong, and collective support is weak. Altruistic Suicide “In societies where the individual is completely absorbed in the group, he is almost without personal existence and ready to renounce it whenever the collective interest requires it.” Altruistic suicide happens when an individual is too integrated into a group—where the group’s needs and values overpower the individual’s own life or desires. These people may believe their death is a duty or sacrifice for the greater good. A clear example is seen in religious cults, where group members are convinced to take their own lives as an act of loyalty. The Heaven’s Gate cult in 1997 is one such case. Members believed they would ascend to a higher existence by dying together. In this type of suicide, you do not hear “he was a loner,” but rather, “he was completely devoted to the group.” In Durkheim’s terms, this extreme integration erases personal identity in favor of group belonging. Anomic Suicide “Anomic suicide... occurs when the bounds of the social order are broken, and one’s passions are let loose without sufficient regulation.” Anomic suicide stems from instability—especially during times of sudden change or breakdown in social norms. People may feel lost when societal structures that once gave their life meaning collapse. This can happen after job loss, divorce, bankruptcy, or dramatic cultural shifts. An example would be a successful businessman who suddenly loses everything in an economic crash. With no clear rules to follow anymore and no stable identity left, he may feel there is no place for him in the new reality. Durkheim viewed this type of suicide as common in rapidly changing societies where the old rules vanish, but nothing reliable replaces them. Fatalistic Suicide “Fatalistic suicide is committed by persons with futures pitilessly blocked and passions violently choked by oppressive discipline.” Fatalistic suicide occurs when a person is under extreme social regulation—their life is tightly controlled, leaving no room for hope, freedom, or personal expression. These are situations where people feel trapped, like prisoners or slaves to a system. Examples can include individuals in long-term incarceration, those in severely abusive relationships, or victims of extreme authoritarian regimes. You might hear someone describe this as “there was no way out” or “their life was already over in every other way.” This type is the opposite of anomic suicide—where chaos reigns—because here, the problem is too much order, too many constraints. The Allure of Suicide “One cannot long remain so absorbed in contemplation of emptiness without being increasingly attracted to it. In vain one bestows on it the name of infinity; this does not change its nature. When one feels such pleasure in non‑existence, one’s inclination can be completely satisfied only by completely ceasing to exist.” This excerpt reflects Durkheim's idea that when someone dwells deeply on the concept or allure of emptiness or non-existence, it becomes a stronger temptation—described almost like a seductive ideology. In other words, long-term contemplation of suicide can actually draw someone toward it. Some who know me may wonder if this is why I have dealt with suicide for the last fifty years. I can say it is not—I do not dwell on death, the thought often appears randomly without warning or any obvious cause . Conclusion Durkheim gave structure to something that often feels unexplainable. He showed that suicide is not always rooted in personal weakness or mental illness, but often shaped by the social world around us. His four categories—egoistic, altruistic, anomic, and fatalistic—offer a framework that still applies today. Whether someone is isolated, consumed by group identity, unanchored, or over-controlled, the social impact of suicide is real. My own experiences have crossed into more than one of these categories. Maybe that is part of why I relate to Durkheim’s work. Talking about suicide is not easy, but it is necessary. Silence can be deadly—be the voice that saves someone's life. Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."