I have tried everything to move on, but the heart wants what the heart wants. No matter how much I try to tell myself that it is time to let go, the love I feel still holds on. Over the last eighteen months, I have personally grown and realize I sometimes misunderstood what others meant and reacted harshly. I am less reactive than I used to be.
I grew up in an environment filled with abuse. Without love and support, I never fully develop the interpersonal skills necessary for a healthy relationships. I am more aware of the tone of my voice now, too! Being neurodivergent brings its own set of challenges in relationships, too. But, it really makes me who I am—weird, lovable. and very curious.
Through therapy and practice, I have learned so much about myself. I see nothing in our former relationship that is beyond repair. We were two people who loved each other deeply, and honestly, I do not think that has changed. I know that I am stronger now, and that I can handle what I could not before. I believe that if we took a gamble on love, we could work through the things that pulled us apart. Start fresh and do not look back!
The song I created below using Suno reflects the love I still carry for him—and the trouble I have letting go. It is a song of love, hope, and the impact he made on my life. Each room of my house holds a memento from him, a reminder of the moments we shared. I know we are capable of overcoming anything we may face in the future.
If there is to be a chance for us to reconnect, it would have to come from him. I reached out twice in the past, hoping for another opportunity, but both times I was met with rejection. I could not bear to face that again. A part of me continues to hold onto the hope that there may still be a possibility for us to find our way back to each other.
1 Corinthians 13:7
"It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
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