Sometimes, you might find yourself in a relationship that feels unbalanced—where you're told you are valued and loved, but the actions don’t match the words. It’s common to feel like an afterthought when someone only reaches out to you when everything else in their day is done. Despite being told that you’re important, if the behavior doesn’t align with those words, it can be confusing and hurtful. It’s important to recognize when a relationship doesn’t quite align with what you need and deserve.
Relationships should be a two-way street, built on mutual care, effort, and respect. It’s natural to want to feel like a priority, especially when you see the other person making time for others throughout their day. Whether it’s friends, family, or neighbors, seeing someone give so much attention and support to others while you receive only the leftover time can make you feel isolated and unimportant.
It’s not unreasonable to want to feel included and prioritized in someone’s life, especially when they have plenty of time and energy to give to others. If someone can only make time for you when they’re finished with everything else in their day, it may signal that your needs and feelings are not a priority. And while it’s perfectly okay for people to have full, busy lives, it’s also valid to want a relationship where your needs are considered equally important.
Between your responsibilities, errands, and the demands of daily living, your schedule is just as full. Yet, despite your own busyness, you make a conscious choice and consistently find ways to make time to prioritize them above most everything else. It’s a reflection of your willingness to nurture the connection, even when it seems like their attention is elsewhere—even when it feels like you’re always the one left waiting.
It’s not about being selfish or demanding; it’s about wanting to feel genuinely valued. It’s about wanting to be treated as a priority, not just an option. It’s okay to want someone to show you that you matter, to text you during the day, or to give you even a small moment of their time. If someone truly cares, they will make those efforts. If you’ve tried expressing your feelings, offering compromises, or asking for small gestures—like a quick text or a brief call—and the response remains the same, it’s a sign that your concerns are not taken seriously or are being dismissed outright.
In these moments, it’s crucial to remember that you deserve a relationship where your emotional well-being is met, not ignored. You need to consider if this relationship truly meets your needs. You deserve to feel valued, seen, and heard. You deserve to be with someone who shows you that they care in ways that matter to you, not just when it’s convenient for them. It’s not selfish to want this; it’s a healthy expectation for any meaningful connection.
You shouldn’t feel guilty for asking for more or for seeking a relationship that aligns better with your values. Your emotional well-being is your responsibility to protect. If someone continually makes you feel like you’re not a priority despite knowing how it affects you, it may be necessary to set boundaries. It’s not easy, especially when you care about the person, but it’s essential for your own peace of mind and self-respect. If someone truly cares about you, they’ll make an effort to adjust and meet your needs. And if they don’t, it’s okay to recognize that and prioritize your own happiness and well-being.
In some cases, this may mean having a difficult conversation, explaining that while you appreciate their words, their actions aren’t aligning with what you need from the relationship. Other times, it might mean taking a step back and evaluating whether this is the kind of connection you want to keep investing in. It’s self-care to recognize when someone’s behavior doesn’t match what you deserve, and it’s a reminder that your feelings and needs are valid.
Don’t settle for a relationship where you feel like an afterthought. Seek connections that uplift you, where the other person values your presence and shows it through consistent, caring actions. If you’re not receiving that, remember: it’s okay to seek more. It’s okay to want love and support that meets you where you are, and it’s okay to walk away from anything less. It’s a reminder that your feelings are valid and that you don’t have to settle for less than you deserve.
Song of Solomon 8:6
"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame."
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