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Gaslighting: Manipulation and Control in Conversations

Gaslighting is a subtle form of emotional abuse that can leave you questioning your own reality. Understanding what gaslighting is and being able to recognize it are crucial steps in protecting yourself from manipulation. In this post, we will uncover 20 common signs of gaslighting in conversations that may indicate you are being manipulated. Let's get started!


1. Denial


  • Example: Your partner claims they never said hurtful things they clearly did.


2. Trivializing Your Feelings


  • Example: "You're too sensitive, it was just a joke."


3. Projection


  • Example: Accusing you of behavior they are engaging in themselves.


4. Withholding Information


  • Example: "Oh, I forgot to tell you, your friend called, but I didn't think it was important."


5. Blaming


  • Example: Making you feel responsible for their actions.


6. Countering


  • Example: Disputing your memories or experiences.


7. Deflection


  • Example: "Let's not talk about me, let's focus on your issues."


8. Twisting the Truth


  • Example: Changing details of past events to confuse you.


9. Praising-then-Criticizing


  • Example: "You're the best, but you still need to work on this."


10. Unpredictable Responses


  • Example: Reacting negatively to something they previously praised.


11. Isolation


  • Example: Discouraging you from spending time with friends or family.


12. Contradicting


  • Example: Saying one thing and doing the opposite.


13. Overexplaining


  • Example: Providing long, complex explanations to make you doubt your understanding.


14. Triggers Guilt


  • Example: "I do everything for you, and this is what I get in return?"


15. Gaslighting by Proxy


  • Example: Turning mutual friends against you.


16. Confusion


  • Example: Mixing truths with lies to create doubt.


17. Joking About Concerns


  • Example: Making light of your worries to invalidate them.


18. Undermining Your Judgment


  • Example: "You always get things wrong, let me handle it."


19. Shifting Goalposts


  • Example: Changing expectations constantly to keep you off balance.


20. Emotional Blackmail


  • Example: Threatening to harm themselves if you don't comply.


Gaslighting can have a profound impact on your mental well-being and self-esteem. If any of these signs resonated with you, it's essential to seek support and distance yourself from toxic relationships. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.


Stay vigilant, trust your instincts, and prioritize your emotional health. Recognizing gaslighting is the first step towards reclaiming your truth and autonomy in conversations.


Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic often associated with narcissism. By being aware of the signs and patterns, you can protect yourself from falling victim to emotional manipulation. If you suspect gaslighting in your relationships, reach out for help and surround yourself with a support system that empowers you to trust your own reality.


Remember, your feelings are valid, and you have the right to assert your boundaries in any interaction. Don't let gaslighting dim your inner light. Stay strong, stay aware, and remember that true empowerment comes from owning your truth.

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