Devil whispers try to cloud my vision.
Every moment guided by God's hand.
Seeking purpose in the choices I make.
Trusting in the divine plan unfolding,
In His love, I find strength to carry on.
New paths emerge as I walk in faith.
Yearning to fulfill the calling within me.
Healing Through Words
While the man that I love may believe I should internalize my struggles and face this heartbreak silently, it is through God’s inspiration, guided by the wisdom of the Bible, that I feel compelled to share this personal account of my thoughts and feelings about our relationship as a whole. Writing is a way for me to process my emotions and find healing, allowing me to speak my truth even when it feels challenging to do so.
Matthew 5:14-16
"You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house."
Destiny: Exposing the Devil or Faith in God?
When I first met the man in my last relationship, it felt like destiny—a gift from God. For over ten years, even though I wasn't looking, I’d send God a message every so often requesting something specific in any potential partners he may be planning for me—hoping God was keeping track of my hypothetical list. And there he was, as if tailored by my prayers. He embodied everything I had requested from God.
The accuracy to my list was so startling, and he mentioned so many things I could relate to, as if he was reading off a script. I even asked at one point if my father, who had not been a good person, had somehow sent him to set me up or bring me harm in some way. I was scared to trust, but something told me that this relationship was important, divinely arranged. I knew there would be challenges, but with God, all things are possible. Psalm 37:4
"Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
It was more than the feeling of answered prayers. There were signs—like his first name appearing in place of my father’s on a 1940 census document. That detail both intrigued and unsettled me. And yet, I didn’t question the connection; I trusted it. Over time, I came to believe that God placed him in my life for me to love, as though fulfilling a divine promise to honor, cherish, and support him, regardless of what I might receive in return.
When he chose to leave instead of working on the relationship and growing together, I was left wondering: could it have been the devil, not God, who orchestrated this relationship? Was I misled by my faith, or did I misunderstand the purpose of this love? Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
Signs of God’s Will
In trying to discern whether this relationship was truly a gift from God, I look back at my feelings of love, faith, and trust. I still hear whispers from God, telling me not to give up on him. But how can I know if this is truly God speaking to me? From a spiritual perspective, God’s will is often accompanied by peace, clarity, and a sense of purpose, even when the path is difficult. Love inspired by God tends to bring a sense of inner peace, compassion, and patience. Godly relationships strengthen faith, encourage growth, and bring out kindness and resilience even through trials. Colossians 3:12-14 "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
In my case, the love I felt—and still feel—has a depth that goes beyond anything I ever thought possible. Yes, there were plenty of times that were not peaceful, but I could easily see beyond to a joyful, loving, harmonious, and peaceful relationship. It’s a love I don’t question because I believe God placed me in his life to love him in this way, deeply and unconditionally. I have embraced this love to honor my commitment to God.
Possible Signs of a Test or Temptation
But if this relationship has brought me heartache and confusion, I have to consider if it might have been a distraction or even a test. Some teachings in Christianity suggest that the devil can imitate blessings to lead people astray or sow seeds of doubt. If a relationship only brings persistent pain or hinders one’s spiritual growth, it might be worth questioning if it’s from God. 2 Corinthians 11:14 “And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.”
Would God place someone in my life to love only to watch the relationship end in heartbreak? God didn't remove free will. I chose to be all in forever, but the other person had free will to leave—which may not have been God's will. Or is this heartbreak something I’m meant to learn from, a test of my faith and strength? God’s plans aren’t straightforward, and sometimes trials are part of a larger purpose. But God’s true blessings encourage us to grow in His image and remind us of our worth and purpose. When I consider that, I realize that if this love was meant to cause me harm or lead me away from God’s peace, then it may not be from Him.
Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Faith Through Uncertainty
In the end, I find myself back where I started, believing that God placed him in my life for a reason. I have told him, "God had placed you in my life to love you, and I will continue to do such. I don’t question God’s plan" My faith leads me to believe that there’s a lesson or purpose in this love, even if it’s not the one I imagined. I might never fully know if it was God or the devil who brought us together, but I find comfort in trusting God’s wisdom and timing. Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Faith often requires walking through uncertainty, trusting that God’s guidance will reveal itself. Whether this relationship was a divine gift or a challenge to strengthen my spirit, I know that my love was real. I believe God honors love rooted in faith, patience, and genuine commitment. Whatever happens next, I trust that I’m on the right path by continuing to follow the values He placed in my heart.
James 5:16 "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."
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