GoFundMe Updates 2025: Share in the Light
- lmb523
- Jul 4
- 22 min read
Click to open or close introduction
I started a GoFundMe campaign to help me through a difficult time. The kindness and generosity of others has come right when I needed it, allowing me to survive so far. Writing these weekly updates for the campaign reminded me how much writing helps me process my thoughts. I have had other websites and blogs in the past, but I always deleted them when irrational thoughts took over. I started this website years ago, and decided to revamp it—I am very happy I did!
I trust someone can find both inspiration and hope from what I’ve been through this past year. Reading through these updates helps me see the progress I've made, especially compared to the low point when I started in Oct 2023. Although I have come a long way, I am still struggling.
GoFundMe started automatically sending updates to previous donors which feels manipulative. Going forward, all updates will only be posted on this blog. Below are the updates I've shared during 2024, starting with the most recent update at the end of the year working backwards to the very first update. 2023 updates can be found here
2024 updates can be found here
The Latest GoFundMe Update 2025
03 July 2025 I am following up on a couple of things from the previous updates. After two letters to the electric company, they are crediting the $160 back to my account. I appreciate my doctor suggesting I contact them. The facts of my case stood on their own merits, but I was fully prepared to follow through with further action if they did not return the $160. Even the the heat is sweltering, I have turned off my a/c to save money. Secondly, I contacted the company that lowered my credit limit when I made a sizeable payment. In addition, they made so many adjustments to my account, but still failed to pay off my special financing. I requested a refund of my payment and they have issued a refund check. They kept my lower credit limit, now my existing balance exceeds it.
Currently, I am choosing to prioritize my survival over paying a company that mishandled my payment, confused my account with erratic adjustments, lowered my credit limit after making a large payment, and caused me distress. I must focus on critical expenses such as my mortgage, food, and utilities. I have determined that continuing to pay this company would directly interfere with my ability to survive. I am not making this decision lightly. I am simply protecting my well-being and peace of mind. I would like to get to a point where I do not have to worry how or when I will be able to buy food. I would like to be able to live, not just be alive—I really do not see a point. I will continue to pray to God that I will get the help that I need. Thank you for reading. I would really appreciate your help—whether through prayer, sharing or donating. Every bit helps! Even if you think it is not enough, it will make a difference.
You can help financially in a few ways on the Support Page or you can donate directly on GoFundMe. Send prayers straight to God. Thank you again.
Psalm 86:1-4
"Hear me, Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy. Guard my life, for I am faithful to you; save your servant who trusts in you. You are my God; have mercy on me, Lord, for I call to you all day long. Bring joy to your servant, Lord, for I put my trust in you."
29 June 2025 These past two weeks have been really discouraging and I am feeling life is pointless. For nearly two years now, I have been pouring out my heart and begging for help after my financial circumstances unexpectedly changed due to serious physical and mental health issues. Although I received help from several donors, allowing me to meet my monthly obligations, I was not able to pay down this debt in a meaningful way. Two months ago, a charity stepped up and helped me tremendously when they added funds to my utility account that would give me breathing room to pay down other debt. Sadly, this past week, the utility company took one third of this charitable contribution to use as deposit on my account. This has created hardship because the money had already been allocated to cover my electric bill throughout the summer. On my doctor's advice, I wrote to the electric company and asked them to reconsider the deposit.
A couple of weeks ago, I took out a loan, using my car as collateral, to consolidate some debts—lowering my monthly obligation. It would also help decrease my anxiety by creating a lifeline of available credit in case of emergency. However, after paying over $1,200 which paid in full several small loans with one company, they responded by removing my entire line of credit since some of the loans were paid off several days past the due dates—not several months or weeks, but several days.
Yesterday, another company did something similar after paying $1,000 towards my debt which should have included paying off a special no interest purchase. They not only did not pay off this special financing, they lowered my credit limit by $1,000 causing additional stress and harm to my credit score. I have never been late paying this monthly bill, but now I have little available credit. This is the third time this company has lowered my credit line after making a considerable payment to better my financial situation—I understood the first two times, but this time was not warranted.
I cannot afford to live anymore. It is as simple as that. I am sacrificing, doing without basic needs, but all my effort seems to be in vain. I am thankful my son was able to pay for me to take the trip of my life, but it really highlights the sacrifices I make in my life just to survive. I had hope that I would be able to improve my financial situation, but these companies have destroyed any glimmer of hope I was grasping. Since my teens, I have become suicidal a few times a year without warning or obvious cause, so this financial strain really compounds the problem—making it more difficult to cope and find viable solutions. This may be viewed as dramatic or attention seeking, but not voicing what was on my mind in the past has led to multiple suicide attempts.
About twenty years ago, I learned to recognize that these thoughts were not based on my true reality, but intrusive in nature and this feeling would eventually pass. Since then, I have been able to battle against my own mind even though it is painfully difficult and my mental health suffers. I can only pray that these suicidal thoughts will pass in time. Lamentations 3:17–18
“I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. So I say, ‘My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the Lord.’”
Job 3:11
“Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came from the womb?”
Psalm 88:3–4
“I am overwhelmed with troubles and my life draws near to death. I am counted among those who go down to the pit; I am like one without strength.”
Jeremiah 20:14
“Cursed be the day I was born! May the day my mother bore me not be blessed!”
Jeremiah 20:18
“Why did I ever come out of the womb to see trouble and sorrow and to end my days in shame?”
_____________________
"Each victim of suicide gives his act a personal stamp which expresses his temperament, the special conditions in which he is involved, and which, consequently, cannot be explained by the social and general causes of the phenomenon." ~ Emile Durkheim
“One cannot long remain so absorbed in contemplation of emptiness without being increasingly attracted to it. In vain one bestows on it the name of infinity; this does not change its nature. When one feels such pleasure in non‑existence, one’s inclination can be completely satisfied only by completely ceasing to exist.” ~ Emile Durkheim
16 June 2025 I have been really praying for some serious financial relief, and today, I was able to use my car and household items as collateral for additional funds on an existing loan. In addition to extending my loan by thirty months, I had to get full coverage insurance on my car. While the extra money increased my loan payment by about $100/mo, it helped me catch up on monthly bills, pay down some credit card debt, and pay off a few smaller loans.
As this is only a temporary solution, I will continue to pray for help with my financial situation. Out of the 8 billion people in the world, I know there must be some who are willing and able to help—I just have not reached them yet. Please be a kind human and help me reach out to the world at large. Hope is hard to hold onto when the world stays silent. Please consider being the person who helps someone hang on. Your help might be the turning point I desperately need.
Go Fund Me Link: https://www.gofundme.com/f/disconnexion
Blog Support Page: https://lmb523.wixsite.com/disconnexion/support
Psalm 34:17
“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles."
14 June 2025 Currently, I am still really hurting financially. I am a few hundred dollars short to be able to pay my bills this month. Once these bills become late, the amount due will snowball and I will never be able to catch up. I am feeling desperate and I really don't know what to do anymore. My mental health is not at it strongest right now.
There haven't been any donations on my GoFundMe in nearly a year and it has been really difficult to pay my monthly bills. I have been selling my possessions, but I do not have very much left that people want to buy. I have been trying to get a job, but I get only rejections. I wanted to donate plasma, but I was told my veins were too small. For a number of reasons, I feel like I don't matter and it is increasingly painful just hanging on.
If you are able to help, either with a donation or a consolidation loan, I would very much appreciate it. Even the smallest donation would give me a glimmer of hope. However, if anyone has $500 burning a hole in their pocket, it would help me tremendously. I have been trying my best to get out of this crippling debt for over 20 months, and just when I can see light, an unexpected expense sets me back. I am out of options. Please God, someone help me or find someone that can help. Thank you. https://www.gofundme.com/f/disconnexion Philippians 4:19
“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”
28 May 2025 My train trip is complete and overall it was truly amazing. The few things that were an issue, Amtrak took seriously. I had anticipated donating plasma when my trip was complete. I learned I could make over $600 a month donating and I was really grateful that this opportunity would be available. I had to wait 56 days after my blood donation in March. The timing coincided perfectly with my trip and my bills that are due. This morning, I went to the plasma center where I spent nearly four hours completing paper work, taking my vitals, and having a physical. I passed everything including my plasma being in the acceptable range. I was brought to the donation room where it quickly went downhill. As I was standing by the door waiting for a seat, a lady came and put a band on my arm, but wasn't able to locate a vein on either arm. She told me to wait and before long a guy came and had the same trouble. He said I was not able to donate plasma because the needle is too big for my veins. He quickly asked me for the new donor card I was carrying and then walked away. I was devastated at the news.
With tears in my eyes, I drove home the 36 miles from the center. I do not know how I am going to even make it through the month. I foolishly renewed my car tags, and paid two bills early, knowing I would have $200 this week, and $200 next week. My license plates expired on my birthday, and I did not want to drive to the plasma center unless I had a receipt showing I renewed them. I plan to adjust the prices on some of the items I have listed on Marketplace. I do not have many items left, but any amount will be helpful.
If you are able to help in anyway, please visit the support page. The options to help now include CashApp, along with PayPal, and GoFundMe. Even the smallest donation can make a huge difference. If you are not able to help me financially, I would very much appreciate it if you pray for me and share my links. Thank you very much for reading. I will continue to trust in God and the humanity of the world. Thank you for your support. Isaiah 46:4
"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."
30 April 2025 (Part 3/3) An internal community group just applied a generous gift of $500 directly towards my electricity bill. I explained that I had already paid it using a loan to pay the bill in full, but to my surprise, they said they still wanted to help. I cried. This means I now have time to repay the loan without the pressure of another bill coming due right away.. I'm deeply grateful.
This does not mean my financial situation is resolved — I am still facing a hardship from two bills — but this unexpected help came at exactly the right time. God really does see the full picture, even when we do not. If you have been considering helping or sharing my story, it would still mean very much to me. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers as I continue in this struggle.
Isaiah 65:24
"Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear."
30 April 2025 (Part 2/3) Update on my latest update! My electricity is back on! I just remembered a company recently gave me a credit line with a virtual credit card. I already used some of it for the things I needed for the trip and a place to stay in NY. I am really happy I thought of it, even though it won't be entirely easy to pay back, it is a better option than to be without power— in this Florida heat, no A/C, lights, or way to keep my just purchased food from spoiling would have been much worse. I was able to pay the bill in full. It only took minutes for my electric to be back on. Again, God provided—Thank You! I was talking about the $20 I spent on food—before the lack of power interrupted me! I sold a paper cutter, and I am so thankful that we agreed to meet at the Winn Dixie. I was able to find a huge 4.5 lb pack of sirloin pork chops for only $4.46. Along with the vegetables and sauce to slow cook it, my total came to $18.41. This is enough food to last me until I leave on my trip and have some in the freezer for when I return! God definitely had a hand in this deal! The man's last message to me as I was walking down the first aisle was, "Thank you again God bless you" I was certainly blessed today!
Psalm 132:15
"I will bless her with abundant provisions; her poor I will satisfy with food."
30 April 2025 (Part 1/3) I was down to a bowl of rice and a few bowls of oatmeal. I wasn't too concerned because God has always provided. Early this morning I got a message inquiring about a paper cutter I was selling. He lived quite a distance away, so I agreed to a meeting place at a Winn Dixie closer to where he lived and not too far to cause me more anxiety. It has been years since I have been to a Winn Dixie, but I hoped the $20 would go far. The meet went well and I headed off into the store.
As I was typing this out, my electricity was turned off. because my $60.51 bill, due 13 days ago, was not paid. I called some agencies, but no one seems to be able to help. It is for these reasons it is really difficult for me to understand how I could be going on this trip next week. I appreciate that I didn't buy the train ticket, but the ride to the train station and back will cost me $160. That is the reason I am not able to pay my electric bill. If there was a safe place to leave my car, I could drive there myself. I will just continue to pray that God will help me in getting my electricity back on again. My good fortune at the store has been offset by this latest development!
Deuteronomy 2:7
"The Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He has watched over your journey through this vast wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you, and you have not lacked anything."
GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/disconnexion
27 April 2025 God smiled upon me this afternoon and provided the means I needed to be able to confirm my reservation in Upstate New York towards the end of my trip. Thank God for each person that prayed for me or sent thoughts out into the Universe about this time sensitive situation. I can be more at ease knowing I am one step closer to reuniting with my brothers and I will have a place to stay on my birthday!
Please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers as my monthly financial outlook, although better than when I started asking for help in 2023, is still quite overwhelming, specifically because of two ongoing debts.
Thank you for the support!
27 April 2025 My focus this week is on the last part of my upcoming trip. I found a place to stay that I would feel comfortable, but the total cost is around $330 for the days I would like to be in Upstate New York close to where I grew up. I hope to reconnect after decades of no contact with four of my brothers that live in the area—I do not know if they are even open to it, and I won't reach out until I have secured a place to stay.
I am very thankful my son was able to purchase my train ticket, and is doing everything to make my stay in Kansas comfortable for me. I will also stay with my youngest brother out west for a few days—it has been over a decade since I have seen him. I keep hearing a whisper, "God will provide" when I think about what the last part of my trip will look like—which includes my birthday—but, I am still anxious because I do not want this property to become unavailable. The area is very remote, and options are few.
When I think of how far I have come since the start of my GoFundMe until now, I am so grateful for the support I have received in all forms because it has been crucial to my survival. The request this week could be construed as luxurious, however, it is all part of my healing and beginning to live life unafraid.
Thank you for any and all support. If you are not able to help financially, please keep me in your thoughts and share my story. Someone you know may have the ability and willingness to donate. The more people who are aware of my situation, the more opportunities there are for help to reach me. 🙏 🙏
GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/disconnexion
Romans 15:4 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.
21 April 2025 This update may raise questions, so I want to be clear with those who have followed and supported me and others that may be contemplating a donation. My grandson is promoting to high school, and my son purchased a USA Rail Pass for me, so I can be there to celebrate this moment with family. That means a great deal to me. Since the pass allows up to ten segments of travel, I decided to use all of them. This gives me the chance to do something I have always dreamed of—traveling across the United States by train. It is not a vacation in the typical sense. I will be passing through many states, but I will not be sightseeing or even enjoying what each of the destination cities have to offer. I will mostly be at train stations waiting for my next connection.
To manage during the trip, I am packing bottles of water and non-perishable food—Amtrak allows food and non-alcoholic beverages to be brought and consumed on board at your seat. That is a great perk of travelling by train since I will not have money to use the dining car or the café. I am trying to make this dream work with what I have.
I want to be clear—this trip is not an indication that I am financially stable. The GoFundMe is still up because I am still struggling to satisfy my monthly obligations. Right now, I urgently need help with paying off two bills. It is very stressful trying to figure out if I am going to have enough money for basic needs. I am still selling my belongings to make ends meet. Nothing about this trip changes that reality.
If you are able to help, I would be deeply grateful. If not, I understand. I appreciate everyone who has taken time to read, share, or support in any way.
Thank you. GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/disconnexion Philippians 4:12–13
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength."
18 March 2025 This week I donated blood and it came with bonus gift cards which I used for food. I was just headed to Walmart to buy food before the storm hit. I wasn't sure how I was going to replace the $20 bill money I planned to spend. I just knew I needed food in case of a possible power outage. I pulled into the parking lot and I saw a blood donation truck. I decided to give blood before going into the store. When it was all said and done, I was given two $10 gift cards for Walmart! God is great and always provides! I am currently $160 away from being able to get home internet. It has been rough without it for the last nine months. It was great to be able to start back therapy in January, but my video appointments have been disrupted due to weak cellphone service in my area. Internet would also be helpful in my mental health journey to be able to stream on Twitch again. I just listed my camera for sale on Marketplace, but I am not sure if it will sell. It was a tough decision, but I need internet more than I need a camera.
If you are able to help me, or you know others that are able to help, please do all you can to make it happen. I am thankful that I have come this far and I am doing well in most aspects of my life. This financial predicament I am in will get better with time, but as I have seen over the last decade with family and friends, time can run out at any moment regardless of age or health. I pray that God put my plea on your heart. GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/disconnexion
Proverbs 11:25
"A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed."
11 March 2025 I will continue to pray for financial relief. I am grateful my check comes tomorrow and I will be able to buy food. I was excited for a moment when I saw I had 80 reward points and a free pizza available. However, there are catches for both. The reward points can only be redeemed one time per order—either 20, 40, or 60 points. The free pizza is delivery only and a minimum order of $15 is required. No pizza today! Update: I was able to get a $15 Domino's e-gift card from Amazon! God is great, God is good, let me thank him for my food. By his hand, I am fed, Thank you Lord, for my daily bread! Amen.
Please help if you are able. GoFundMe https://www.gofundme.com/f/disconnexion
27 February 2025 What a difference a day makes! Thankfully, I was able to buy food today! It gets scary when I get down to my literal last meal not knowing when I will be able to get more. I have had experiences when someone would say they have nothing to eat in the house, but what they really mean is they don't have food that appeals to them or doesn't require preparing. When I say I am out of food, my cupboards, freezer, and refrigerator are empty—except for maybe a few pats of butter and a condiment. Thank God I will have enough food for the next couple of weeks! God will provide!
1 Timothy 6:8
"But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."
26 February 2025 I have continued to sacrifice and I am thankful I have made it this far. It is difficult not having internet, but more difficult not having teeth or food. My house needs repairs and I am barely surviving. After waiting for my glasses for over three weeks, I had to get a refund because they did not fit. The money was used to help me make it through January and February after learning my benefits were lowered.
I am cancelling my lawn service, although lawn care is a necessity, having someone mow it for me is a luxury. I ordered a push mower today. The money I would have paid the lawn service will go to pay that charge for the next six months, but then it will be mine—in the end, reducing my monthly debt. I cannot justify taking the trip to see my grandson's 8th grade graduation even though my son offered to pay some of my travelling expenses. However, miracles do happen, so I am not giving up hope.
I have been contemplating what makes me and my circumstances unworthy of crowdfunding. When I hear about GoFundMe campaigns raising tens of thousands of dollars for things like a pizza delivery driver that received a two dollar tip ($45K), a ten year old looking for friends ($37K), and a woman found a moneybag and took it to the police ($82K), I am not jealous, I am confused. What these three stories do have in common is someone else believed in them and started the GoFundMe campaign.
The money that was donated to my campaign over the last 17 months helped me get through some of my darkest moments. I am doing better overall, and making great strides mentally, but I am still very much in need financially. I continue to pray that God will provide as He does. If you are not able to donate, please help by sharing my links.
Blog: savedthoughts.com GoFundMe https://www.gofundme.com/f/disconnexion
Job 5:8-9
"But if I were you, I would appeal to God; I would lay my cause before him.
He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted."
06 February 2025 I have not been updating this as often because no one has donated in over six months. On some days, I am really discouraged. I have just started planning a trip to see my grandchildren and celebrate my grandson's 8th grade graduation. It is a big expense, and I feel guilty over the fact that I still have my GoFundMe active. I will not be here forever, and the last time I was with my two oldest grandkids was over five years ago. I have sacrificed my entire life to meet my responsibilities, but this time I am not going to sacrifice this celebration—my son will help me fund this trip.
It doesn't remove the fact that I struggle every month to pay my bills. If I can get a loan and one credit card paid off, I feel I will be able to live a normal life. Right now, I am barely living. I cook in bulk and eat for less than $2 a day, yet I still struggle to buy food. I don't think I am "entitled"—I just do not understand why so few have offered to help. Perhaps it is because I am asking for donations for myself, instead of someone else holding the fundraiser for me. That probably would be better, but I do not have anyone to advocate for me.
I appreciate anyone who has helped over the last 16 months. I hope no one thinks it is too extravagant for me to plan this trip for May. I have come very far, and I do not want to lose my progress. Please share this blog or the GoFundMe link. Thank you.
12 January 2025 Today, I just want to thank God for providing. This past week, I sold jewelry for more than I was asking. I found the courage to go in to Walmart to buy groceries—the first time in a store in some years. When I was leaving, some guys noticed my tires were dangerously low, and oddly enough, the guy behind me had an air compressor and inflated them. I am very appreciative for this act of kindness.
Earlier today, my neighbor called unexpectedly and asked if I wanted two hamburgers. I said yes, and he brought over two patties and an onion. Thank you so much—it could not have come at a better time. I was hungry, but I didn't want to eat the last of my food—a sweet potato and slice of meat. I wanted to save it in case I couldn't go to the store. Tomorrow, I will have a payday loan to help me buy food for the coming weeks. It is not ideal, but if I can sell more items, I can pay it off early and save on the high interest.
I am grateful I was able to find insurance that my doctor accepts and has some vision coverage. I already had my first doctor appointment for the year, and it is reassuring to know the cost is covered. My new eyeglasses should be in this week! I remain deeply thankful for the generous gift that allowed me to get the best lenses, with all the features I needed, early in the year. The gift was a sight for sore eyes—literally!
I see God’s hand in every kindness extended my way. This week has reminded me that He provides—through generous hearts, unexpected blessings, and even strangers who cross my path. His provision shows up through people willing to help—it is through their actions that I see His grace. I am truly humbled by every blessing that finds me. God has worked through so many people to provide exactly what I needed when I needed it.
Philippians 1:3
"I thank my God every time I remember you."
2 January 2025 I am sharing an update today because I had a call about my upcoming appeals hearing. During this pre-hearing call, Crystal explained why my benefit was decreased. We went over my monthly bills and income. The 2.5% cost of living adjustment (COLA) put me close to the threshold of being ineligible for the food benefit. I just wanted my case reviewed. With a better understanding of why my benefit was decreased by half, I withdrew my request for an appeals hearing. Update: I am only eligible to receive $23 a month for food. I am still okay with the outcome based on my new monthly expenses including cheaper insurance..
Your support, in any form, means so much—whether through a donation, sharing my fundraiser, or prayers. Spreading the word online or offline could connect me with those willing to help. There are a variety of share options on the GoFundMe site. https://www.gofundme.com/f/disconnexion Thank you for any help you are able to provide!
Matthew 6:34
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
1 January 2025 As the new year begins, I am doing much better all around than I was this time last year. The ending of 2024 renewed my hope for a brighter future. Not only did I sell some items on Marketplace and at Brown's Junk In The Trunk Sale, I received a beautiful Christmas gift that will allow me to see things more clearly. Thank you. 💙
I have an appeal hearing on 14 January, but I don't really hold much hope that my food benefit will be increased back to $48 per month. I will be disappointed, yet thankful for the $24, if my appeal is denied. It is possible they were using outdated data when they decreased it close to where it was two years ago. Systems aren't perfect, so I wait.
I am praying for help to lighten the burden of overwhelming debt. I understand it is an enormous amount to seek, but if I don't ask for help outright, how would anyone even know I am struggling. Every act of kindness, no matter the size, will add up and make an extraordinary impact. A single small donation from many can create the change I so deeply need, while one bold act of generosity could make it all possible in an instant.
If you feel moved to help, please know that your contribution—however small or large—truly matters and will make a difference. With that said, if you are unable to help financially, please pray and share my story in hopes of helping me find the relief I need.
Please consider sharing my GoFundMe link with your community, both online and offline. Word of mouth, church, bulletin boards, social media and email all can be powerful avenues to spread the word and connect with those who may be able and willing to help. By sharing, you are offering others the chance to make a meaningful difference in my life. https://www.gofundme.com/f/disconnexion
Thank you, your help is truly appreciated! I look forward to a wonderful year ahead!
1 Peter 4:10 "Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms."
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