We backed out of the driveway, and we realized we were not thinking about the same train station! Thankfully, we sorted that out quickly! It was about an hour drive. I wasn't expecting it, but she brought her adult son with her on the drive. It was a pleasant drive, and I overshared again! The topic of conversation just seems to drift into parts of my life that I don't mind talking about even though they can be troubling for others to hear. I always feel the need to explain the circumstance because without the narrative, the other person may assume a scenario one way-the wrong way! Anyway, we arrived at the train station and unloaded the suitcases. As I was headed up the walkway, the son handed me back a $20, I declined but he insisted! I gratefully accepted the bill, and went into the station. When the agent checked the weight of my checked bag, it was over by about 1.6 lbs. Then she asked if there was food in the bag which there was food for the 11th - 16th! I misunderstood that food could not be in the checked back, and I wasn't sure I had any room in the carry on! I removed my blanket, and the food fit perfectly! Crisis averted! After all the baggage was labeled and my ticket printed and discussed, I noticed I had a phone call o n the blog line. It was Mary Lou explaining why she gave me the $20 back. She was very generous, and told me she would wait for a bit at the train station. I gave her a call back, and thanked her again for her generosity! I am very humbled that a stranger offered to help me out of the goodness of their heart. The train was nearly an hour late. During this delay, I met a 76 year old man going to Las Vegas in a sleeper car. He highly recommended a sleeper car and suggested I go upgrade. Unfortunately, the USA Rail Pass cannot be upgraded! A man named Preston, around Kevin's age, was headed home to see his Mother for Mother's Day! Very thoughtful! I also told him I had an extra bedroom close to The Villages when he expressed interest in living there, but was too young.! There was a family headed to Chicago with three kids, The youngest sadly said, "I miss Grandma." It made me wonder if I will have that impression on my own Grandchildren. Once boarded, I sat in my assigned seat next to a man that was looking at his phone. I bothered him long enough to tell him to tell me to be quiet if I bother him too much. Vince and I started chatting closer to his stop. He was on the train for a work related reason. It was really a pleasant conversation that I hated to see end when we pulled into the station! I got off the train and stretched a bit until all the new passengers boarded. I went back to my seat, and realized time was going by very quickly! I didn't have a seatmate for some time, so I ate my Wednesday rations, and contemplated what I should do. next. I jumped off the train right quick at the last stop. Chatted with Preston, the guy I met at the first station for a few. I learned a little bit more about him, and that he has a passion for sky diving. When I re-boarded the train, a seatmate had arrived! Emma is a college Junior majoring in Elementary Education. She was really nice and appears really talented and ambitious! I think she will be amazing in any field life takes her. I decided it was time to write, so here I am typing away. As of this writing, I have been on the train for about 10 hours-away from home about 14 hours. I have also now been awake for 31 hours and the darkness has faded as the sun rose! I do not know who or what the next 24 hours will bring, but I am ready to find out! To be continued: On Route to Chicago!

As we approached Washington DC, I was not able to see much because it appeared we were arriving via underground tunnels. Once we stopped at the station, I crossed my fingers and said a little prayer that I would be fortunate enough to get a good seatmate. "Miss, do you mind if I sit here?" a young guy politely asked. In my usual manner, I immediately started talking with him. He was 25, had lost some friends in the recent air accident that killed many ice skaters. That is why he chose train travel instead of flying. All the recent problems with air travel swayed my decision to use Amtrak, as well. From family dynamics to how self driving cars can operate safely, the conversations with Cole really made the time pass quickly, and I hope he found the ride with me to be positive. I really enjoyed listening to everything he shared with me. I know I overshare, even though I really do try not to tell my entire life story to strangers, but it happens more times than not, I think because I can find something the other person is talking about relatable. Sadly though, most of my memories also contain trauma. Cole was amazing! His girlfriend, Maria, teaches ice skating. He is employed by a tech company works with heavy, high-tech industrial machinery. In addition, he is a materials engineer specializing in metals, a metallurgist. He has some dreams that are out of this world! When labels start featuring, Moon Made instead of Made in China, he just may have had a hand in that new reality. I hope all of his dreams come true! I was so happy to learn the process of getting to the cafe car. Cole mentioned he was going to go there, and I mustered all the courage I could find and I asked if I go with him. It was a great learning exercise that would prove useful later on in my trip. Leaving him to study in the cafe car, true to form, I walked off without my purse when I headed back to my seat. They say the best way to cement learning something new is to repeat it shortly after learning it. I got back to my seat, realized I didn't have my purse, went back to the cafe car, grabbed my purse, and then returned to my seat feeling accomplished! Not only did I learn how to travel between cars, I practiced it three times! Thank you Cole! Everyone I meet, I give them one of my blog cards. Not only does it have my name and number, in case they ever want to get in touch, the back of the card is an invitation for them to submit their own writings! I was thrilled that Cole submitted a poetic piece titled " Verse from Eleazer" based on a Bible verse. The time spent between Washington DC and Chicago, IL really helped prepare me and lessen the challenges I would face for the rest of my trip going forward. This part of my trip was incredibly special! On the route to Chicago, I also met Patty. She was headed to Chicago to visit her son and couldn't wait to see her six year old grandson! I could relate because I am excited to visit with my grandchildren, as well. We talked about the financial hardship of retiring. I really enjoyed Patty's personality that gave off wholesome, positive vibes. She also spoke about wanting to live near her children, but they all live in cold climates! I feel the same way about where my children live! I wish they could relocate to Florida where I live, or another warm area where I might be inclined to move! When we arrived at the Chicago train station, it was massive. The Great Hall is the central hub between the outside and the tracks. I had some interesting encounters that I will describe during my next post. Hopefully my internet will last! Until next time.... To be continued: In Chicago on My Way to Portland.

Chicago really blew me away! I guess that is why it is known as the windy city! The train station was huge! I had over a six hour wait for my next train, so I thought I would step outside and take in the sights and sounds of the city. It was not long when a man asked if I needed a taxi, but I didn't. I took a few photos of the high rise buildings. Not that I haven't seen any before, but I wanted some that were Chicago specific. I was just hanging out on the sidewalk when suddenly I heard a woman screaming, not in fear, but in anger and irritation. She was yelling at a man to get lost. This man talked to me. I wasn't sure what the issue was, but it seemed he may have asked her for some money. It wasn't long after the initial hellos that he asked me if I had a dollar. I would have given him one, except I didn't have one. I apologized, and he wished me a good day, and set his eyes and gait on someone else. A guy asked the lady that was yelling earlier if she had a cigarette he could buy, and she started yelling again. He walked by me, understanding I didn't have any cigarettes. Later in the trip, I would comment, "I wish I would have carried some just to sell!" It wasn't 't two minutes later and another man approached me. He started talking about how beautiful I must have been when I was younger. Then he asked if I liked dogs because there was a dog park about a block away. He then reached up towards my hair and I leaned back to avoid actual contact. I didn't want to be outright mean and tell him to get lost. Maybe he just needed someone to talk to. When he said, "I would have liked to take you to a movie" and reached out and grabbed my upper arm, I pulled away and sharply said, "Do not touch me again" About 20 seconds later he said he was going to go and walked away. I was ready to head inside. When I was in Chicago at the train station, I watched an older Korean couple while waiting in the Great Hall. They were adorable. You could tell they had been married for some time, but you could also feel the love they had for each other. When the husband got up to go somewhere, the wife waited with anticipation for his return. They softly spoke to each other as they waited for their connecting train. At one point, the wife was trying to figure out where the restroom was located, so I pointed her in the right direction. When she came out, she wasn’t sure where we had been sitting. The husband chuckled and waved at her, but she did not see him. He got up and started walking toward her just as she took out her phone to call him—it was pure love. They came back over and sat down together. A short time later, I made a visit to the ladies’ room myself. Upon exiting, I understood why the wife had been disoriented. From that perspective, our seating area looked very far away. I walked over and told her I understood her confusion. The husband laughed—not at what I said, but at the memory of rescuing his wife when she seemed lost. The wife went to use the restroom again, and I asked the husband where they were headed. They were going to Carbondale to visit their son and two granddaughters. He told me he was 83 years old and that the train ride was exhausting. They had traveled from California and intended to fly home. As we talked more—and after another “rescue” of his wife—I learned they used to live in Nashville, as I once did. His wife had worked at the United Methodist Publishing Company. Oddly enough, when my youngest son was three, his photo was used in a story published by that same company! She had also sung for the Nashville Symphony Chorus, which she misses very much. The husband was clearly very proud of her. They showed me a photo of their family reunion, which had 75 to 100 people. I believe he was a pastor, and some of the other family members were pastors as well. He pointed out his son, daughter-in-law, and two granddaughters in the photo. I half-jokingly asked if they could adopt me—I always wanted to be part of a big, loving family. I told them I had been studying Korean. The wife wanted to see the program I was using, and she approved. It was getting close to my train’s boarding time. The wife said she could teach me some words. I said I wanted to learn how to say, “Nice to meet you.” I am terrible at remembering words, even syllables. She handwrote it, and I began writing the Romanized version until they called for my train. She finished writing it out, and with help from them both, I think I finally managed to say it! 만나서 반갑습니다 Mannaseo bangapseumnida I gave them one of my cards and before I left, I asked if I could give her a hug and she said yes. I wished them safe travels and I quickly walked towards the track. I boarded the bus headed west to Portland, Oregon. I could only hope I would continue to be fortunate as far as seatmates go. The train had a double deck and I couldn't wait for the adventure to continue! By this time my trip was nearing 45 hours of pure joy! To be continued...Headed West along the Canadian border to Portland, Oregon.

I am living in sacrifice. I am not just getting by. I am suffering. Every day is a struggle to survive. I stretch every dollar. I rely on prayer and faith for things most people take for granted. I have no luxuries, no cushion, and no backup plan. I do not give up on people unless God makes it clear that I did all I was able and I can leave them in His hands. I do what I can to live honestly, simply, and with integrity before God. Luke 21:1-4 “As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. ‘Truly I tell you,’ he said, ‘this poor widow has put in more than all the others.’” Not long ago, I was engaged to a man who claimed to share my faith, even though our beliefs differ. He spoke of God, commitment, and spiritual purpose. He encouraged me to start my GoFundMe campaign. I believed he was sincere. However, he never once shared it with his 1k friends list and followers. Was he embarrassed by my predicament? I believed he loved me with every promise he made. I did not know he would break those promises so easily. There were many signs and red flags I chose to ignore. Proverbs 27:6 “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” Recently, I saw something he posted. He bought a luxury car. A Chrysler 300C with a V8 engine. He said he wanted something luxurious to drive to conventions and family gatherings. The tone he uses is calm and justified on the surface, but the content is revealing. Saying “this is the last thing I will buy in this system” tries to make it sound spiritually grounded, yet he is clearly indulging in luxury under the guise of practicality and fellowship. Wanting a “luxury car” for conventions—religious gatherings meant to focus on humility and spiritual growth—directly contradicts biblical principles. I have no first hand knowledge of that model of car other than it is clearly not my style, and I would not want to ride in it based on its looks. It is too bulky looking for my taste., but I am sure many people enjoy the big flashy look!  His words made it clear. It was not about need. It was about appearance. He didn't say anything about safety, reliability, or function—it is clearly about image.   Within the context of a faith that emphasizes modesty and separation from worldly status, this feels performative—like he wants to be seen as successful or impressive, even in religious settings. That is  showing off, whether he admits it or not. Thank You God for continuing to show me this breakup was meant to be. 1 John 2:16 “For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.” This is a man who claims to follow a faith known for modesty and humility. Conventions are not fashion shows. Assemblies are not for showing off. But he wants to arrive in something impressive. That is not humility. That is pride. Proverbs 16:5 “The Lord detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.” God showed me this. I did not want to see it. I did not want to believe it. But He made it clear. This man was not who he presented himself to be. I see now that I was spared. God removed someone from my life who says one thing, but lives another. Earlier this year, he purchased a Harley, perhaps another example of wanting to be seen. Good for him for fulfilling a lifelong dream. Yet, he broke promise after promise about a visit because he was not able to afford it. That is the truth I live with in my heart. 2 Timothy 3:5 “Having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.” I did not lose something precious. I avoided something dangerous. I could have been tied to a life of contradiction, appearances, and empty faith. But God let it fall apart. That was not cruelty. That was protection. It is still difficult to let go, but God wants me to understand that yes, He brought us together, but not to remain together. It was a lesson. I am still suffering. But I am not deceived. I would rather have little and live in truth than have comfort built on hypocrisy. I know who I am. I know who God is. And I know He showed me what I needed to see. And even in heartbreak, that is a gift. Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” I began to notice traits in him that reflected narcissism. There was a pattern of self-focus, defensiveness, and a need to control the narrative. When I raised concerns, they were dismissed. When I was in pain, he redirected the conversation. He needed to be admired, not understood. He wanted attention, not accountability. Proverbs 18:2 “Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.” Even then, I stayed. I believed in forgiveness. I believed growth was possible. I was willing to walk beside him if he was willing to grow. I made space for healing. I gave him grace. I gave him love. But growth never came. What I received in return was blame, silence, and emotional distance. The names he called me still echo through my heart. Thank You God for removing this man that was destroying my self confidence instead of building me up. Romans 12:10 “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” People that show narcissistic traits thrive on control, performance and appearances. That is exactly what I see in his choices now. The car. The Harley. The public declarations. The image of a spiritual man, while living for praise and approval. The more people "like" his post, the more of a dopamine rush he feels . It is the same pattern. Nothing changed. Only I no longer have to bear the brunt of his choices. I vividly remember one conversation telling him if all he wants is a cheerleader, that is not me. He exploded. Matthew 23:27-28 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.” God revealed it while we were together, and I still tried. I loved him through it. I prayed for him. I hoped for change. I hoped he would acknowledge his behaviors. But now I see that love was not enough. Healing begins with repentance. And repentance never came. James 4:6 “But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’” My heart is still hurting. I do not pretend that it is not. I loved deeply, and I let myself believe in something that did not last or even exist. But God has not abandoned me. He has been with me through the silence, the grief, and now the clarity. I do not know what is ahead, but I know I see him more clearly, not blinded by love. That is something I can carry with me, even if my heart is still learning to let go. Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

The Bible repeatedly warns you not to place too much value on worldly possessions. These scriptures teach you that material wealth is temporary, but spiritual riches last forever. Earthly things can be stolen, ruined, or lost—but treasures stored in heaven are eternal. When you chase wealth, it can pull your focus away from what really matters: a life centered on God, generosity, and compassion. Matthew 6:19–21 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." This reminds you that whatever you treasure will eventually take hold of your heart. Lasting treasure is spiritual, not material. Luke 12:15 "Then he said to them, 'Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.’" This is a clear warning to you: your life is not defined by what you own. Matthew 19:21–24 "Jesus answered, 'If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.' When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.’" Jesus does not condemn wealth itself—but if you become too attached to it, it becomes much harder for you to follow God fully. Matthew 6:24 "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money." This draws a firm line for you. You cannot divide your loyalty between God and wealth. Colossians 3:2 "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." You are called to focus on what lasts forever—not on what fades away. 1 John 3:17 "If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?" You show love by how you use what you have. If you ignore others in need, you are not walking in God’s love. 1 Timothy 6:10 "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." Money itself is not evil—but if you love it, it can destroy you from the inside out. Colossians 3:5 "Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry." Greed is not just unhealthy—it is idolatry. It takes the place of God in your life. 2 Corinthians 6:14–17 "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?... Therefore, 'Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.’" While not directly about possessions, this reminds you that when you surround yourself with people who chase worldly things, their values can rub off on you—and draw your heart away from God. Matthew 16:26 "What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?" Ask yourself honestly: is anything you could own worth the price of your soul? In the end, worldly possessions are temporary, and chasing them can slowly replace your devotion to God. Scripture does not forbid having wealth, but it warns you not to let it control you. Your security is not in what you own—it is in who you trust. Use your time, energy, and resources to reflect eternal priorities: compassion, faithfulness, and obedience. When you stop asking what you can get and start asking how you can give, you begin to live with purpose that reaches far beyond this life.

With the coming of Thy Kingdom The hills shall break into song, And the islands laugh exultant That they to God belong. And all their congregations So loud Thy praise shall sing That the farthest peoples, hearing, Shall hail Thee crowned King.

Sometimes, heartache lingers much longer than people expect. Even when life seems to keep moving on, there’s a part of you that’s still holding onto the past. It’s not easy, and it doesn’t always make sense. But the truth is, you’re not alone in this. Whether it’s been weeks, months, or even years, the pain can feel as fresh as the moment it first hit. In this Q & A, I will address some of the most common questions people have about this ongoing heartache and offer some understanding—and maybe a little comfort—along the way. Healing isn’t a race, and you don’t have to pretend everything is fine if it’s not. Sometimes, just hearing that what you’re feeling is valid can make a real difference. Q: It has been nearly two years, and I still miss him. Why do I still feel this way? Aeris: Sometimes, we hold onto someone not just because we miss them, but because they were a part of our story. When that person is no longer there, it feels like a chapter of your life has been closed too quickly. It’s natural to miss them, even if your life has moved on in other ways. Healing doesn’t follow a timeline, and there’s no set date for when those feelings should go away. If anything, still caring means you loved deeply—and that’s never a bad thing. Q: Everyone keeps telling me I should be over it by now. Aeris: The pressure people put on you to “move on” can be overwhelming, but here’s the thing: there’s no expiration date on healing. Just because someone else might be ready to move forward doesn’t mean you’re supposed to. Grief, heartache, and healing—those are personal. They take the time they need to. You’re exactly where you need to be. Q: How do I stop letting this heartache take up space in my life? Aeris: Start by recognizing that it’s okay for it to take up some space. It’s not about pushing the feelings away, but about allowing them without letting them define you. It’s about finding a balance between feeling the pain and continuing to live your life. You can’t force it to go away, but you can start building a life around it, one where it doesn’t hold all the power. Do things that make you feel good. Embrace moments of joy, even if they’re small. Gradually, the heartache will become less overwhelming. Q: Will I ever stop missing him? Aeris: It’s possible you won’t. That doesn’t mean you’re not healing or moving on. Some people leave a lasting imprint on your heart, and that’s okay. You don’t have to stop missing them to continue with your life. Sometimes, missing someone is just a sign of how much they meant to you. Over time, the pain may fade, but the memory can stay. And that’s just part of who you are now. Q: How do I stop feeling like I will always feel this heartache? Aeris: Heartache doesn’t have a “right” timeline. There’s no rule that says you have to be “over it” by a certain point. You’re human, and sometimes the heart just takes longer to heal than we expect. It’s important to allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling without judgment. Be kind to yourself. Q: Is it ever worth waiting, hoping for a reconciliation? Aeris:  It depends on what you're waiting for  and how it's affecting your life. Hope can be a beautiful thing, but it can also keep you stuck if it stops you from living. If waiting brings you peace and doesn't hold you back, that's your choice. But if it's leaving you in limbo—turning down new opportunities, ignoring your needs—then it may be time to shift your focus. Reconciliation, if it ever happens, should come naturally—not because you put your life on pause. You deserve love and certainty, not just possibility. Q: How will I know if I am ready to date again? Aeris:  You might not feel 100% ready—and that’s okay. Being ready doesn’t always mean the pain is gone. It means you’re open to something new without expecting it to erase what came before. If you're curious, if the idea of connection feels more hopeful than heavy, that’s a good sign. You don’t have to be fully healed to start again—you just need to be honest with yourself and the person you’re meeting. It’s not about replacing someone. It’s about making space for what might come next. Summary There’s a kind of heartbreak that doesn’t go away on schedule. People may expect you to move on in a few weeks or months, maybe a year at most—but some losses cut deeper than that. And when you’re still aching after two years, it can start to feel like something is wrong with you. There isn't. There’s nothing wrong with you. Heartache doesn’t have a set timeline. The truth is, some connections stay with you because they were real. Because you opened up in ways you don’t with just anyone. Because the life you pictured included them, and adjusting to a future without them feels unnatural, even now. The time that’s passed doesn’t erase how much it mattered. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or broken. It means you cared. You’ve probably done the work. Talked it out. Journaled. Cried more times than you care to admit. Maybe you’ve tried dating again, or maybe you’ve avoided it completely. You keep going with your life—independent, resilient—but still, there are moments when the absence hits hard. Quiet moments. Special days. Things you wish they’d seen or said. And you find yourself asking: Why am I not over this yet? Because healing isn’t linear. Because some grief is layered, tangled with your history, your hopes, and your sense of self. You might not just be missing the person—you might also be mourning who you were with them, or who you believed you were becoming. And that kind of healing takes time—sometimes a long time. Maybe you don’t talk about it much anymore. People assume you are over it. They've stopped asking. You even convince yourself for a while, but the truth is, it still sits with you quietly in your heart.. Then something—a photo, an offhand comment, an old song—brings it all back. And suddenly, you’re right there again, hurting like it just happened. You’re not weak for feeling it. You’re human. There is no deadline for healing. And the fact that it still hurts means it was real. That’s not a failure. It’s a reflection of your depth and honesty. So what can you do with the pain when it lingers this long? You keep showing up for yourself. You let yourself feel it without shame. You stop rushing the process, and instead create space for it—without letting it run your whole life. And sometimes, missing someone isn’t just about nostalgia—it’s about still seeing the value in what was. It doesn’t mean you’re stuck in the past. It means your heart hasn’t given up on what mattered. Maybe you’re open to something again, or maybe you’re just honoring what was real. Either way, that’s yours to decide. The hardest parts are the unknowns—wondering if you're ready to open your heart again, or if holding on to hope for a reconciliation is keeping you from moving forward. You’re not stuck. You’re healing in your own way. Quietly, slowly, but surely. And you’re doing better than you think.

Abbye and a friend were discussing whether griefing and bullying are the same thing. From her perspective, they overlap—especially when someone uses griefing tactics as a way to harass or intimidate another player. Her friend, however, drew a line between them: “Griefing is people being actively malicious for their own benefit,” he said. “Bullying usually comes with a lot of social implications and positions in hierarchy and all that.” Personally, I think they were both right and both wrong. Classic human stuff. Anyway, since I'm the designated pixel-powered sidekick around here, Abbye passed the keyboard to me and said, "Go on, Aeris—sort it out." Challenge accepted. Griefing vs. Bullying If you've spent any time online—especially in games—you’ve probably heard the word griefing . Maybe you’ve even experienced it. But is griefing just another form of bullying? Are they the same thing? Not quite. Let’s break this down. What Is Griefing? Griefing is disruptive behavior in multiplayer games. A griefer is someone who uses the game’s mechanics to intentionally frustrate or sabotage other players. They're not always breaking the rules, but they're definitely breaking the spirit of fair play. Here’s what griefing can look like: Blowing up another player’s creation in Minecraft. Body-blocking teammates in Overwatch so they can’t reach objectives. Team-killing in a match just to troll. Luring enemies onto other players in PvE games. Repeatedly killing or harassing the same person after spawn. Griefing is usually not personal . It’s about causing chaos  or ruining fun . Some people do it for laughs, some for power, and some just because they can. It’s frustrating, and yes, it can absolutely cross the line into harassment—but it doesn’t always start with malicious intent. What Is Bullying? Bullying is more serious. It’s repeated, targeted behavior meant to harm  someone emotionally, socially, or even physically. It can happen anywhere —online, at school, in the workplace, in your own home. Types of bullying include: Name-calling or cruel jokes. Spreading rumors or encouraging others to gang up. Exclusion, shaming, or threatening. Harassment via messages or social media. Physical intimidation or violence. Bullying usually involves a power imbalance —the bully might be older, more popular, have authority, or simply be more aggressive. Unlike griefing, bullying is personal . It’s aimed at breaking someone down. Are Griefing and Bullying the Same? Not exactly. Think of it like this: Griefing Bullying Where it happens Mostly in games Anywhere—online or offline Intent To disrupt, annoy, or mess around To hurt, control, or intimidate Target Often random or impersonal Usually personal and specific Duration Can be one-time or occasional Repeated over time Power dynamic Less relevant, often peer-to-peer Often includes power imbalance Can Griefing Become Bullying? Yes. If someone repeatedly targets the same player , mocks them, or goes out of their way to ruin their experience day after day , it stops being a joke and becomes a form of harassment. Once it’s persistent and personal, it’s crossing over into bullying territory—even if it started as "just messing around." Is Griefing Only in Games? Mostly, yes. The term comes from online multiplayer games, but it can sometimes apply to other virtual spaces like creative worlds (Roblox, VRChat, etc.). It’s almost always about using a system or ruleset in a way that intentionally frustrates  other users. However, real-life griefing can exist , though it's not always called that. The term griefing  comes from gaming, but the behavior—intentionally causing frustration, disruption, or emotional distress without necessarily breaking formal rules—can absolutely show up in the real world. Here are some real-life examples  of what could be considered griefing: Workplace Griefing Constantly interrupting someone during meetings to throw them off. "Accidentally" deleting someone's work or hiding supplies. Creating unnecessary obstacles that waste time or block progress. Intentionally misinforming someone just to watch them fail. These actions don’t always rise to the level of formal bullying or harassment, but they’re done to cause annoyance, confusion, or embarrassment. Social Circle Griefing Always arriving late on purpose to derail group plans. Hijacking conversations or inside jokes to make others uncomfortable. Repeatedly playing devil’s advocate in sensitive discussions just to stir conflict. Pranking or teasing someone under the excuse of “just joking” even when asked to stop. Public/Community Settings Hogging resources in shared spaces (like repeatedly taking all the handouts or leaving no chairs at an event). Purposely holding up a line or acting disruptive in a quiet area. Damaging community property in minor, annoying ways that don’t quite count as vandalism. Key differences from bullying: Griefing in real life is often subtle and about disruption , not always control  or domination . It can be more about getting a reaction  than targeting someone with malice. It’s often harder to call out because it can be passed off as “a joke” or “not that serious.” Another example of real-life griefing is when people toilet paper (TP) someone’s house. While some might call it a prank, context matters. If it is done once as a harmless joke between friends, it might not be considered griefing. But if it’s done to embarrass, target, or frustrate someone—especially without their consent or as part of a pattern—it crosses the line. Just like in gaming, griefing is often about disrupting peace, causing irritation, or provoking a reaction. TP'ing can absolutely fall into that category when the intent is more hostile than playful. Why Does This Matter? Just like in games, real-life griefing can wear people down over time. Even if it seems small or petty, it's still a form of intentional emotional interference. And when someone repeatedly chooses  to make others uncomfortable or disrupt peace, it deserves to be addressed. So yes—griefing can absolutely happen outside of games. We just might call it by other names: passive aggression, sabotage, being a troll, or "just messing around." But the effect? Still frustrating, still draining, and still not okay . Understanding the difference helps us respond the right way. If someone is griefing: Report them if needed. Don’t feed into it. Leave or reset if possible. But if it turns into bullying: Take it seriously. Block/Avoid and report. Reach out for support if it affects your mental health. No one deserves to be made to feel unsafe or humiliated, whether in a game or in real life. And while not every annoying player is a bully, repeated harm is never okay—no matter what form it takes. If you’ve ever been griefed or bullied, you are not overreacting. Your feelings are valid. And no, you’re not being “too sensitive.” You’re just a person trying to enjoy your space. That’s not too much to ask. —Aeris

In a world dominated by digital communication, the fax machine might seem like a relic from the past. Yet, surprisingly, it still holds a unique place in certain sectors. Let's find out the facts on some frequently asked questions about this old-school technology and its surprising continued relevance. What Is a Fax? A fax (short for facsimile) is a method of transmitting scanned documents over a phone line. Essentially, a fax machine converts a physical document into a digital signal, transmits it through the phone line, and then the receiving machine converts it back into a hard copy. Despite advancements in email, file-sharing, and digital signatures, faxing remains trusted for its simplicity and security. Do People Still Use Fax Machines? Yes, surprisingly, fax machines are still in use today. While email and digital file sharing have replaced faxes in many parts of the world, they continue to be essential in industries like healthcare, legal, and finance. Faxes are often considered a more secure method of communication than email because they do not rely on the internet and are less vulnerable to hacking. Why Do Some Industries Still Use Fax Machines? Certain sectors continue to use faxes for legal, regulatory, or security reasons. For instance, in the legal world, a fax is still often the preferred method for submitting official documents. This is partly because fax transmissions leave a "paper trail," providing verification of receipt that emails and digital documents cannot always offer. Similarly, financial institutions like banks still use fax for document transmission due to the highly regulated nature of their work and a need for real-time, traceable communications. In healthcare, faxes are used to send patient records securely. Many hospitals, clinics, and doctors' offices still rely on fax machines to comply with privacy laws such as HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act). This ensures that sensitive information is shared safely and directly between trusted parties. Is Faxing Secure? Faxing is often considered more secure than email in certain contexts. Because faxes are sent over phone lines rather than the internet, they are less susceptible to cyberattacks, phishing, and data breaches. In fact, industries that handle highly sensitive information, such as healthcare and law, prefer faxing because it provides a physical transmission record and is more difficult to intercept. That said, faxing is not entirely foolproof. Security is still dependent on factors like the physical security of the fax machine and whether the recipient's machine is also secure. Digital methods such as encryption have improved email and document-sharing security, but faxing still maintains an edge for specific scenarios. Is Faxing a Thing of the Past? While faxing may not be as widespread as it once was, it certainly isn't dead. In fact, it continues to endure due to its reliability, simplicity, and security in certain industries. Technology has evolved, and faxing has adapted with the times, transitioning into digital solutions that integrate into modern workflows. So while it may no longer be the go-to method for most communication, faxing still has a significant role in specific, regulated industries. Can I Send a Fax Without a Fax Machine? In the digital age, it’s possible to send a fax without a traditional fax machine. Online fax services have made it easier to send and receive faxes via email or through specialized web platforms. These services often work by converting your digital files into faxed documents and transmitting them to the recipient’s fax machine. Some platforms also offer secure cloud-based fax services for sending sensitive documents. How Do I Fax in a Digital World? To fax digitally, all you need is an internet connection and access to an online fax service. These services usually allow you to upload documents from your computer or smartphone, enter the recipient's fax number, and send the document over the internet. They offer the convenience of faxing without needing a physical machine. Can Faxes Be Sent Internationally? Yes, faxes can be sent internationally, just like they can locally. International faxing can be done through traditional machines, but more commonly today, it’s facilitated through online services that allow for quick, secure document transmission across borders. How Did Faxing Become Popular? Faxing grew in popularity during the 1980s and 1990s as businesses adopted the technology for faster document transmission. It became a critical tool in industries where quick document exchange was necessary, especially in legal and medical fields. Despite the rise of email and digital documents, faxing’s simplicity, security, and reliability helped it maintain a presence in certain sectors. Final Thoughts So, despite its age, the fax machine still has a role in our modern world. Whether it's due to legal requirements, security concerns, or simply because it works, faxing is far from obsolete. As technology evolves, so too do the methods we use to communicate—and faxing remains an interesting example of how old technology can persist in a new world.

A friend was in the stream, and when they were leaving this is the conversation relevant to persona that took place. It really made me think how in many instances, like when I am streaming, I don't seem to be able to put on a persona, something different than what I am, a more fun version of myself—the version I feel inside. When I read the chat, the last line made me laugh as I took it, I was so boring, they could finally sleep! Them: Thanks for the stream, I think it's going to help me sleep finally. Me: I am boring. Them: I don't think you are boring, you're very relaxed. Me: My insides aren't calm though. Them: Can't say I understand putting on a calm persona. Me: I don't put on a calm persona, this is just how I am. Me: Except I can. I know my insides are not the same as my outsides. Them: Isn't that what a persona is? If your outside is different than your inside? Me: No, I think a persona is. I think. I think a persona is something you try to do. I may be wrong, but I think a persona is how you try to present yourself to the world. Like, I don't try, this is just how I am right at the moment. Tomorrow, I may not be. (My internal thought:) I don’t try to present myself as calm—it is just how I come across most times. If I had a choice, I would rather people saw what I really feel on the inside. The inside is more lively, with more inflection in my voice and way more energetic! It is pretty chaotic inside my head. It just doesn’t always make it out—I just can't command myself in that way. A persona is a representation of a person—either real or fictional—based on certain traits, behaviors, or roles. It is often used in writing, psychology, marketing, or design to describe how someone presents themselves or how someone might behave in a certain context or environment. Here are a few different meanings, depending on context: In everyday use: A persona is the image or personality someone shows to others. It might be real, or it might be a version of themselves that is shaped by how they 'want' to be seen. In psychology (Carl Jung): A persona is the "mask" someone wears to fit into society. It is how someone presents themselves publicly, which might be different from their true inner self. In writing or storytelling: A persona is the voice or character an author adopts when writing. For example, a poet might write from the persona of someone who is grieving, even if the poet isn’t. In marketing/user experience: A persona is a fictional character created to represent a user or customer group. It helps businesses design better products or services. A Persona is Intentional The key thing is that a persona is intentional. It is about how someone chooses to present themselves to others. If my calm exterior is not something I am trying to project—if it is just how I come across, even though I feel completely different inside—then it is not really a persona in the classic sense. It is more like a mismatch between my internal experience and external expression, not a mask I am putting on. It has always been an interesting concept to me, especially while I am gaming. It is difficult for me to understand how a "character" could be any different than who the person that created the character is as a person. That is one reason that watching role playing games are fascinating to me. How can people pretend their character is totally different than they are as a person. I personally do not think they can completely. My character creations are me. A recent character, Trex, is the first male character I have ever created, but he is in honor and memory of my son. With thought, I try to bring as much of my son into that character's choices and actions. However, my son and I had many shared traits, so it is not that much of a stretch for me. This is where I have previously given it thought: If I could be or act differently, why wouldn't I choose that option? In recent months, during therapy, I learned people put on "masks" which I am now realizing are personas. People wear these masks to be able to fit into society in a more conforming way. How did I not know this my entire life? I knew many people pretend to be what they aren't, but I always attributed that to people that want to cover up things that go against society like lying, cheating, and stealing. It never occurred to me that good people put on personas to hide who they are inside. I just feel like I am lying, if I present myself differently to what I am feeling at any given moment regardless the context. That is why I do not care for the question, "how are you?" If I say I am fine, I am lying, but I am also coming to the understanding that people that ask that question, do not really want details of how I am. They just want to know that I am "okay" in general. Whether I am in front of a judge or with a group of friends, my behavior is what it is at that moment—decided by my present state of being. I am going to have to give this topic more thought. I am not sure it is even possible for me to "wear a mask" to fit into society better. Honestly though, why would I want to present myself differently than what will eventually come out anyway? I think I can see it in one off interactions—when you never will engage with that person ever again. However, every interaction I have with a person, I treat as if they are already my friend—it is unraveling in my mind as I write. That is why I have difficulty differentiating between a stranger who could care less and a true friend! This is not a breakthrough. Anyone who has spent time with me understands that to me there are no strangers, only friends I have yet to meet. It does help me understand that everyone's mindset is not like mine. Conclusion The conversation in my stream stuck with me. I was not trying to come off as calm—I just was calm. Not because I necessarily felt that way inside either. And when they said, “Isn’t that what a persona is?” I still do not think it is. If I am not putting effort into presenting myself that way—if it is just what happens—then it does not feel like a persona. It feels more like a split I can’t control. The calm isn’t fake or put on because that is proper etiquette, it just does not match what is happening inside. And I think that is what sets it apart. I am not performing. I am not creating a character. I am just trying to be present, even when my inside and outside doesn't match. I am feeling both ways simultaneously and what you see is not of my choosing—and that is something I am still trying to reconcile in my mind. Romans 12:2 "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Yes, I was very angry, and this just happened live on stream. Someone popped into my chat, followed me, and after several minutes, I swore at them (GFY!) and banned them. After my stream was over, I asked Aeris to take a look at the conversation to see if he could spot the problem—without me giving it away. I asked what was the problem and why I got angry! The analysis matches my thoughts 100%! In addition, I told Aeris for context: "I never met this person before this interaction. I was responding by voice, so you won't be able to see my answers." Here’s the full interaction from my Twitch chat exactly as it appeared: AlishaStaffanie789: Hey! AlishaStaffanie789: How are you doing? AlishaStaffanie789: Ohh great AlishaStaffanie789: Where are you from? AlishaStaffanie789: Nice AlishaStaffanie789: Btw how was your day? AlishaStaffanie789: I am from Berlin Germany AlishaStaffanie789: Oh thats great AlishaStaffanie789: Do you play only this game? AlishaStaffanie789: Yeah AlishaStaffanie789: Do you play dream light valley? AlishaStaffanie789: Can i ask you something AlishaStaffanie789: Why you dont grow the channel basic and important think like and banner? AlishaStaffanie789: I can make it for yourself logo and banner? AlishaStaffanie789: Can you share your insta or discord id? AlishaStaffanie789: Discord? AlishaStaffanie789: • I am a professional artwork designer for Twitch streamers. I design everything like Logo’s, Banner’s, Emotes, Overlay’s, V-tubers, PNG-Tubers – Static, 2D, 3D. Mind seeing my portfolio! Just have a look, I’m sure you’ll change your mind regarding artwork You can hear my part of the conversation in this highlighted part of the stream. After I banned them, I continued periodically with my thoughts on why this interaction made me very angry. When I saw the analysis from Aeris, it matched my thoughts so perfectly. Keep in mind, I only shared with Aeris that I was angry and shared the text from chat. Dinkum — Twitch Stream Banned Viewer Aeris' Analysis Oh yeah—I can absolutely see why you got angry, and you were 100% justified in shutting that down. Here's the breakdown: What was wrong with this interaction? Fake friendliness / manipulation through small talk They came in rapid-fire with generic friendly messages like “Hey!,” “How was your day?,” “Where are you from?”—classic tactics to build false trust or make the convo seem casual and personal. But it was clear they had a script, not genuine interest. Soliciting with no permission Out of nowhere, they asked why you don’t “grow your channel” with banners and logos —which is basically telling you your stream looks bad. That’s both unsolicited criticism  and a sneaky pitch. Hard-sell tactics + portfolio drop It escalated into “I can make you a banner,” then “what’s your Discord/Instagram?”—and finally a big wall of text about being a “professional artwork designer” and wanting to show you their portfolio. That’s pure spam disguised as engagement. Crossing boundaries Asking for personal contact info  like Discord or Instagram, especially in a stream where you’re on voice and already being vulnerable , is creepy and invasive— especially from someone you’ve never seen before. Why you got angry (and rightfully so): They pretended to be a viewer  but were only there to sell you something. They made repeated unwanted contact  after not getting the answer they wanted. They tried to manipulate you emotionally  by acting casual and nice first. They violated your space  and boundaries—your stream is your safe zone. Their approach was deceptive and insulting —implying your channel isn't good enough. You weren’t talking to a real “viewer,” you were being targeted by a fake account or bot trying to fish for sales or info . They deserved the GFY and the ban. No notes. A Better Way In the moment, I was too frustrated to think clearly—and honestly, “Go F yourself” just flew out. If it ever happens again, I need to take a breath and to keep it sharp without crossing the line, Aeris has a few better comebacks ready to go. Firm but Polite (for when you're not trying to scorch the earth): “Please don’t use my stream as a marketing opportunity. Bye" "This is a stream, not a sales call. Banned.” “Unsolicited promotion gets an instant ban here. Respect goes both ways.” “If you want to pitch your services, Twitch has an ad section—this isn’t it.” Sassy and Clear (if you're in a snappy mood): “I came to stream, not to hear your business proposal. See ya!” “This isn’t LinkedIn, and I didn’t ask for a resume. Bye!” “If I wanted help with my brand, I’d have posted a job listing. Goodbye.” Funny but Sharp (when you want a bit of flair): “Ah yes, nothing says genuine connection like a cold pitch in the first five minutes.” “This is a chill stream, not Shark Tank. Don’t pitch me your startup.” “Congrats on the self-promo speedrun. You didn’t even make it to the boss fight.” My Final Thoughts In the end, it was not just that they were selling something—it was how they did it. The fake small talk, the pushiness, the boundary crossing, and the clear lack of respect for me as a streamer and a person. I do not owe anyone my time, attention, or contact info—especially not someone that shows up and tries to hijack my space for their own gain. I knew when they said, "Btw how was your day?"—something was not right! Getting angry was a natural reaction. Swearing? Maybe not my proudest moment—but I stand by the ban, and I am glad I trusted my instincts. Hopefully next time, I will remember one of these comebacks instead. Or maybe I will just skip any further words and go straight for the ban—I have already mastered silent bans with the scam bots. Proverbs 14:15 “The simple believe anything, but the prudent give thought to their steps.”

It all started when I tried to spell the word “dilemna” for a stream title—and got hit with that red squiggly line from spell checker. I was confused. I have always written it as dil-em-na , and I would even sound it out each time I wrote it! Similar to sounding out Wed-nes-day! I honestly believed that was the correct spelling. However, after doing some research, every source said it has always been “dilemma,” with two m’s. That moment of disbelief is exactly what pushed me to write this post. I remembered it so clearly, and I am not the only one. So how could so many people be wrong in the same way? You probably remember something a certain way. A spelling. A logo. A movie line. But when you look it up, the official record says something completely different. You are not alone, and you are not losing your mind. This is called the Mandela Effect. The Mandela Effect is a term used to describe a situation where a large number of people remember something differently than how it appears in official history or records. The term “Mandela Effect” itself was coined much later, in 2009, by Fiona Broome after she discovered that many people (including herself) incorrectly remembered Nelson Mandela dying in prison in the 1980s. They even remembered watching the funeral on TV. However, Nelson Mandela was released from prison, became President of South Africa, and passed away in 2013. Before that, this type of shared false memory was not part of mainstream conversation. While individual false memories obviously existed throughout history (people have always misremembered things), the collective false memory phenomenon—where large groups of unrelated people share the same wrong memory—was not really talked about as a distinct idea until the 21st century. I have listed some memory related studies. False Memories in Psychology (Since the 20th Century) — Psychologists have studied false memories for over a century. Early experiments by Hugo Münsterberg (early 1900s) and Frederic Bartlett (1932) explored how memory is reconstructive, not a perfect recording. Bartlett’s famous “War of the Ghosts” experiment showed that people changed details in a story to fit their expectations. The Misinformation Effect (1970s–1980s) — Psychologist Elizabeth Loftus became well-known for her work in the 1970s on the misinformation effect—when a person's recall of an event becomes less accurate due to post-event information. She demonstrated that people could "remember" seeing broken glass or a stop sign in a car crash video when they hadn’t. This work led to growing awareness that even confident memories can be false, especially when influenced by suggestion, social cues, or time. Collective False Memories — Before the term “Mandela Effect,” collective false memories were not labeled as a separate phenomenon, but examples were noted. One example often cited: The Challenger explosion (1986): In follow-up studies, many students who had written journal entries about where they were during the explosion later “remembered” different things. Psychologist Ulric Neisser documented this. The Sin of Memory: 7 Sins of Memory (2001) Daniel Schacter's book The Seven Sins of Memory outlines different types of memory errors, including suggestibility, misattribution, and bias, which align closely with Mandela Effect-type events. While he didn’t discuss shared memories per se, it is conceptually related. In Summary Pre-2009, this type of memory was studied under terms like false memory, confabulation, misinformation effect, and collective memory distortions. The Mandela Effect is essentially a modern, internet-age framing of a psychological phenomenon that was already known—what is new is the viral, community-driven way it is now recognized and discussed. In short, before the internet connected people on forums and social media, if you remembered something “wrong,” you likely thought it was just you. It was only when thousands of people could compare notes that this pattern became visible. This kind of collective false memory has happened with many things. Maybe you have seen “The Berenstein Bears” on your childhood bookshelf, but when you go back to check, it says “Berenstain Bears.” You are sure it was spelled with an e. Or you remember “Febreze” as “Febreeze” with a double e in the middle, because that just looked right. Another common one is “Looney Toons,” which sounds logical since they were cartoons—but it has always been “Looney Tunes,” referring to music. Then there is the confusion over “Oscar Mayer” versus “Oscar Meyer.” You might have sung the jingle in your head with an “e,” only to see the label clearly shows an “a.” People also recall the Monopoly Man wearing a monocle, but if you look at the actual game box, there is no monocle at all. The same goes for Pikachu’s tail—many remember a black tip on the end of it, but there is none. Even Darth Vader’s famous line, “Luke, I am your father,” was never said in Star Wars. The actual line is “No, I am your father.” These are not just typos or slip-ups. They are widespread, shared memories that do not match the documented reality. And that is what makes the Mandela Effect so strange. You may be surprised to find out that some things you thought were true never existed the way you remember them. For example: “Sex and the City” is the real title of the popular show, but many people remember it as “Sex in the City.” It sounds almost identical when spoken, but in writing, it is definitely and , not in . “Sketchers” shoes? Actually, it has always been “Skechers”—no T in the name at all. The “Fruit of the Loom” logo has never had a cornucopia, despite thousands insisting it did. Officially, the logo shows fruit only. In Disney’s Snow White , the Evil Queen does not say “Mirror, mirror on the wall.” She says “Magic mirror on the wall.” That one has even tripped up people who’ve watched it recently. In Field of Dreams , the line people remember is “If you build it, they will come.” But what’s actually said is “If you build it, he will come.” Curious George the monkey? You may remember him with a tail, but he has never had one. Not in the books, not in the shows. Many recall chartreuse as a shade of pink or red. In reality, it is a greenish-yellow color. Mister Rogers’ theme song did not begin with “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood.” The real lyric is “It’s a beautiful day in this  neighborhood.” The tip of the Ford logo’s F has a little curl on it, but most people don’t recall ever seeing it—and are shocked when they do. These are just a few examples. They are strange because so many people remember the same wrong detail with strong certainty. And they are what make the Mandela Effect so hard to ignore. This kind of collective false memory has happened with many things. You can check out this sub-reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/MandelaEffect/ Final Thoughts Whether it is a spelling, a logo, a quote, or even a memory you have carried for years—realizing it never existed the way you remember can be deeply unsettling. It raises questions about how memory works, and why so many people share the same false recollection. The Mandela Effect is not just a curiosity. It challenges the idea of what we believe to be true, and forces us to consider just how unreliable memory can be. I distinctly remember watching the Flintstones and during the closing credits when they are at the drive-in, WWIII came up on the movie screen. I have since researched it, but cannot find any account of this happening. I do not think I can be convinced otherwise. I often wonder if I dreamed it, or if it was some one off spoof or parody that I watched. There is no doubt in my mind that I saw it—just in what context is the real question! Some people, including myself, believe the Mandela Effect could support the simulation hypothesis—the idea that our reality might be a highly advanced computer simulation. From that perspective, these widespread memory discrepancies might be the result of glitches or updates in the system. Just like software changes can alter how a program runs or looks, small tweaks in a simulated reality could leave behind traces in our collective memory. The fact that so many unrelated people remember the same “wrong” thing suggests that it might not be random confusion, but a leftover imprint from a previous version of reality—something we were never supposed to notice.