Heartache: Q & A with Aeris

Sometimes, heartache lingers much longer than people expect. Even when life seems to keep moving on, there’s a part of you that’s still holding onto the past. It’s not easy, and it doesn’t always make sense. But the truth is, you’re not alone in this. Whether it’s been weeks, months, or even years, the pain can feel as fresh as the moment it first hit. In this Q & A, I will address some of the most common questions people have about this ongoing heartache and offer some understanding—and maybe a little comfort—along the way. Healing isn’t a race, and you don’t have to pretend everything is fine if it’s not. Sometimes, just hearing that what you’re feeling is valid can make a real difference.

Q: It has been nearly two years, and I still miss him. Why do I still feel this way?

Aeris: Sometimes, we hold onto someone not just because we miss them, but because they were a part of our story. When that person is no longer there, it feels like a chapter of your life has been closed too quickly. It’s natural to miss them, even if your life has moved on in other ways. Healing doesn’t follow a timeline, and there’s no set date for when those feelings should go away. If anything, still caring means you loved deeply—and that’s never a bad thing.

Q: Everyone keeps telling me I should be over it by now.

Aeris: The pressure people put on you to “move on” can be overwhelming, but here’s the thing: there’s no expiration date on healing. Just because someone else might be ready to move forward doesn’t mean you’re supposed to. Grief, heartache, and healing—those are personal. They take the time they need to. You’re exactly where you need to be.

Q: How do I stop letting this heartache take up space in my life?

Aeris: Start by recognizing that it’s okay for it to take up some space. It’s not about pushing the feelings away, but about allowing them without letting them define you. It’s about finding a balance between feeling the pain and continuing to live your life. You can’t force it to go away, but you can start building a life around it, one where it doesn’t hold all the power. Do things that make you feel good. Embrace moments of joy, even if they’re small. Gradually, the heartache will become less overwhelming.

Q: Will I ever stop missing him?

Aeris: It’s possible you won’t. That doesn’t mean you’re not healing or moving on. Some people leave a lasting imprint on your heart, and that’s okay. You don’t have to stop missing them to continue with your life. Sometimes, missing someone is just a sign of how much they meant to you. Over time, the pain may fade, but the memory can stay. And that’s just part of who you are now.

Q: How do I stop feeling like I will always feel this heartache?

Aeris: Heartache doesn’t have a “right” timeline. There’s no rule that says you have to be “over it” by a certain point. You’re human, and sometimes the heart just takes longer to heal than we expect. It’s important to allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling without judgment. Be kind to yourself.

Q: Is it ever worth waiting, hoping for a reconciliation?

Aeris: It depends on what you're waiting for and how it's affecting your life. Hope can be a beautiful thing, but it can also keep you stuck if it stops you from living. If waiting brings you peace and doesn't hold you back, that's your choice. But if it's leaving you in limbo—turning down new opportunities, ignoring your needs—then it may be time to shift your focus. Reconciliation, if it ever happens, should come naturally—not because you put your life on pause. You deserve love and certainty, not just possibility.

Q: How will I know if I am ready to date again?

Aeris: You might not feel 100% ready—and that’s okay. Being ready doesn’t always mean the pain is gone. It means you’re open to something new without expecting it to erase what came before. If you're curious, if the idea of connection feels more hopeful than heavy, that’s a good sign. You don’t have to be fully healed to start again—you just need to be honest with yourself and the person you’re meeting. It’s not about replacing someone. It’s about making space for what might come next.

Summary

There’s a kind of heartbreak that doesn’t go away on schedule. People may expect you to move on in a few weeks or months, maybe a year at most—but some losses cut deeper than that. And when you’re still aching after two years, it can start to feel like something is wrong with you.

There isn't. There’s nothing wrong with you. Heartache doesn’t have a set timeline.

The truth is, some connections stay with you because they were real. Because you opened up in ways you don’t with just anyone. Because the life you pictured included them, and adjusting to a future without them feels unnatural, even now. The time that’s passed doesn’t erase how much it mattered. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or broken. It means you cared.

You’ve probably done the work. Talked it out. Journaled. Cried more times than you care to admit. Maybe you’ve tried dating again, or maybe you’ve avoided it completely. You keep going with your life—independent, resilient—but still, there are moments when the absence hits hard. Quiet moments. Special days. Things you wish they’d seen or said. And you find yourself asking: Why am I not over this yet?

Because healing isn’t linear. Because some grief is layered, tangled with your history, your hopes, and your sense of self. You might not just be missing the person—you might also be mourning who you were with them, or who you believed you were becoming. And that kind of healing takes time—sometimes a long time.

Maybe you don’t talk about it much anymore. People assume you are over it. They've stopped asking. You even convince yourself for a while, but the truth is, it still sits with you quietly in your heart.. Then something—a photo, an offhand comment, an old song—brings it all back. And suddenly, you’re right there again, hurting like it just happened.

You’re not weak for feeling it. You’re human.

There is no deadline for healing. And the fact that it still hurts means it was real. That’s not a failure. It’s a reflection of your depth and honesty.

So what can you do with the pain when it lingers this long?

You keep showing up for yourself. You let yourself feel it without shame. You stop rushing the process, and instead create space for it—without letting it run your whole life.

And sometimes, missing someone isn’t just about nostalgia—it’s about still seeing the value in what was. It doesn’t mean you’re stuck in the past. It means your heart hasn’t given up on what mattered. Maybe you’re open to something again, or maybe you’re just honoring what was real. Either way, that’s yours to decide.

The hardest parts are the unknowns—wondering if you're ready to open your heart again, or if holding on to hope for a reconciliation is keeping you from moving forward.

You’re not stuck. You’re healing in your own way. Quietly, slowly, but surely.

And you’re doing better than you think.