Self-Validation: Finding Worth Without Applause

Introduction Many adults continue to seek external validation long after childhood because praise and approval from others can feel reassuring. They wait for compliments, likes, or praise to feel that their effort matters. Approval and validation from others gives a sense of security, belonging, and accomplishment. However, true peace comes from learning to validate yourself and finding reward in simply doing the task.

The Problem With External Validation When you rely on others for validation, you put your sense of worth in their hands. If they approve, you feel good. If they stay silent, you start to doubt yourself. This creates an unstable emotional cycle. People may not always notice your work, even when you give your best. Some people may even criticize for reasons that have nothing to do with you. When your confidence depends on their reactions, you remain vulnerable. If you rely too much on others for validation, your sense of worth becomes fragile. You constantly need someone else to reassure you, which is often disappointing.

Self-Validation Self-validation means being able to say you did your best even if no one else says it. You recognize your own progress, your own effort, and your own growth. You trust your ability to evaluate your work honestly. You stop chasing constant reassurance because you have already given it to yourself. This creates stability because you are not waiting for someone else to hand you approval. Self-validation builds confidence and independence.

The Power of Intrinsic Rewards Intrinsic rewards are the satisfaction you feel from the work itself. Maybe you learned a new skill, finished a difficult task, or simply enjoyed the process. These rewards are not dependent on others. They build real confidence because you know why the work matters to you. You do not need applause to feel accomplished.

For example, I might write a blog post and feel good simply because I know I expressed my thoughts clearly. I do not need hundreds of likes to know I did something worthwhile.

The benefit of intrinsic rewards is that they build resilience. You can stay motivated even when others do not notice. You continue to grow because you care about the process, not just the outcome. This also reduces the emotional rollercoaster of depending on outside opinions, which often change or are unreliable.

Shifting Your Focus When you practice self-validation and value intrinsic rewards, several things happen:

• You feel more stable emotionally.

• You stay motivated longer.

• You grow from your own goals, not from chasing approval.

• You become less affected by criticism or silence from others.

Final Thoughts You cannot control how much others notice or praise your efforts. You can control how you see yourself. Validation from others is temporary. Validation from within is lasting. The reward is in the doing, not in the applause. Galatians 6:4

"Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else."